If You See Her, If You See Him
by kir-girl24
Summary: The most unseakable thing has happened to shatter our hearts; IAN AND WANDA SEPARATED. And poor Melanie still friends with a broken Ian and her devastated little sister Wanda goes between the two. Rated: High T low M for language and mention of sexual content. (possible higher M rating in future)
1. Introduction

Introduction

**I know you clicked on this to read a story and if you don't care about hearing about the background of the story please jump to 'Chapter 1'.**

**I loaded this story but then I had to take it down…. I don't remember why but at least I'm reposting it right?**

I don't really know how this goes cause I'm fairly new at the whole "posting to fanfiction" thing. But I just wanted to give some information before I start the story.

So I was driving in the car with my mom when the song 'If you see him, If you see her' by Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn came on. Now I love that song so I said "This is my Jam!" and turned it up. Now I had The Host fanfiction's on my brain so as I listened to the song I sat there and I thought, _Oh my god. How horrible would it be if Wanda and Ian split up but just wanted to be with each other?_

Now I've written other things besides fanfiction's so I was like, "I can totally do this." So when I got home I jumped on the computer and started brainstorming while listening to the song on repeat. No joke I listened to it so much that when I exited out of my music at 3 in the morning the song kept playing. I was curious and so I listened to it till it ended and I waited to see if it would play again and as soon as it was over, it started playing again.

Now the way that I've decided the story is going to have the same chapter in two points of view. The first will be in Melanie's POV then the next will either be Ian or Wanda. (Whoever Mel's talking to in her chapter.) Then I'll have a chapter that has Mel and Jared then it'll have a little of everyone's POV. Then I have the final chapter which is great. Then I haven't decided on it yet but I have a bonus that I could post. But I'm not so sure how many people would be interested. So after the last chapter I'll ask for people's opinion on wither they want the bonus or not. It's mostly fluffy fluff that I couldn't get out of my head.

So I hope you enjoy this story. I'm sure enjoying writing it.

_**DISCLAMER:**_

The fallowing chapters have characters that belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own the plot but it was strongly influenced by the fallowing songs:

If You See Him, If You See Her By: Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn

Tell Her By: Lonestar

Let's Be Us Again By: Lonestar

Young and Beautiful By: Lana Del Rey

Other songs that didn't directly inspire me but I listened to them and they helped to keep the idea's flowing.

Easy By: Rascal Flatts (feat. Natasha Bedingfield)

You Don't Know Her Like I Do By: Brantley Gilbert

Ain't No Sunshine By: Bill Withers


	2. Extra: Lyrics

Woman:

If you see him

Tell him I wish him well

How'm I doin'? Well sometimes it's hard to tell

I still miss him more than ever

But please don't say a word

If you see him x2

Man:

If you see her

Tell her I'm doin' fine

And if you want to

Say that I think of her from time to time

Ask her if she ever wonders where we both went wrong

If you see her x2

Man: Oh I…. I still want her

Woman: And I still need him so

Both: Oh I…. I don't know why we let each other go

Man: If you see her

Tell her the lights still on for her

Woman: Nothing's changed

deep down the fire still burns for him

Both: And even if it takes forever say I'll still be here

Woman: If you see him

Man: If you see her

Woman: If you see him

Man: If you see her


	3. Chapter 1: The Bar

**I loaded this story but then I had to take it down…. I don't remember why but here it is.**

**Just so everyone who didn't read the intro knows I'm gonna be writing the meetings in Mel's POV then in Ian or Wanda's POV. So…. Here's the First one. Enjoy.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host' and the story was strongly influenced by the song 'If You See Him, If You See Her' by: Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn.**

Chapter 1: If you see her

Mel's POV

I knew he was here. This is where he'd came every since she kicked him out. I had sworn not to take sides in their matters but I saw the situation from both sides and had the whole picture.

I scrunched up my nose when I walked in. This old bar had to be the last good old fashion bar in this town. I knew where he was. The fourth bar stool from the right. The one he'd purposed by. The one where he first saw her in.

As I approached behind him I saw that he'd already started, a glass of whiskey half empty already. I looked at Wes, the owner and best bar tender anywhere, and he held up one finger. I understood that was his first glass and nodded.

"Hey Ian." I said sweetly patting him on the back.

"Hey Mel." He said sounding as defeated as ever.

"How's it going." I asked, knowing I wasn't going to get the truth.

"Good." He said motioning to Wes that it was time for his four shots.

Wes rolled his eyes and set two shot glasses on the counter and filled them with clear liquid.

"Sure Ian. You look like you're doing good." My voice just oozed sarcasm.

When he downed his shot I saw that he'd still neglected to shave regularly with the whickers on his face. His eyes were always blood shot and puffy. His nerves were on edge and could snap at random moments. But what did I expect, he was living at Kyle's place.

"How's Wanda?" I could hear his voice break when he said her name.

"Oh, the usual. Pretty much just like last week. She is enjoying her work at the flower shop with Lily."

He looked over at me running his pointer finger around the top of the glass of whiskey, "She dating anyone?"

That question shocked me, I hadn't expected that. "No. Of course not. She wouldn't." I knew that for a fact.

Ian barked out a laugh, "looked pretty cozy to not be dating him." He said

"What do you mean?"

"If she didn't tell you it's not my place to say anything."

"Ian, come on. Tell me, what makes you think she's dating someone?" I knew that he wanted to talk about it, he wanted to talk about anything that had to do with Wanda. That's what this time was about.

"Well," he said turning his shoulders to face me, "I um…. rode by the house on my way to Kyle's. It was kind of habit." _Whatever you were riding by to see her._ "Anyway, I saw a car in the driveway that I didn't recognize so I doubled back." _I bet you did._ "I sat across the street and watched Wanda and Burns, you know that guy you guys lived next to when we were kids. The kid that was homeschooled." I mentally rolled my eyes, jealousy, "Yea, well I saw them sitting on the couch talking."

"And that made you think she was cheating on you?" I can't believe he thinks that she'd cheat on him, their still married, and with Burns…. I tried not to laugh.

"No. What made me think that was she had her arm on the back of the couch and he grabbed her hand."

I couldn't help but smile, I couldn't laugh at Ian. Not at the state he was in. I put my hand over my mouth to keep the laugh from coming out.

"It's not funny. Anyway she didn't pull away. And then she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek." I was shaking with laughter, "Stop laughing."

I had to compose myself a bit, "Did anything else happen?" I was still shaking a bit.

"Yea well she leaned into his shoulder. I snuck up to the window to get a better look and they were just sitting there holding hands her leaning on his shoulder. Almost got caught though. They closed the curtains after that."

I was still smiling, "Bet you waited outside till he left."

Ian turned towards the bar, "I didn't expect him to leave. Ya know what I saw was proof enough for me. Anyway when he left she walked him to his car. She was wrapped in her favorite blanket. Ya know the one I bought her the night we got engaged." I nodded still shaking with silent laughter, I hoped he finished soon.

"Anyway. They said goodbye and before he got in the car he kissed her on the cheek." He took a deep breath, "Then he left and she went back inside. She did some things downstairs and then she went to bed and I left."

I couldn't help it, the laugh came out and I laughed really hard.

Ian turned and glared at me with pure hatred, "What the fuckin' hell is god damn matter with you?"

I put my hands up in a sign of surrender, "I'm sorry. It's just you have them all wrong."

"Correct me then." He said anger in all edges of his voice.

"Burns…. Is…. Gay!" I said between laughs.

I saw Ian get a brief smile on his face and turned to the bar again, "Well that explains a lot." He muttered with the hint of a laugh

I had to take at least five minutes to stop laughing enough to talk to him again. I watched as he took two shots and drank his whiskey in between. And as soon as I was calm enough to keep the laughter out of my voice I approached the subject, "So found a place yet?" I asked downing my shot and sliding it away. Wes replaced it with a coke.

"Nope." Ian said harshness in his tone.

I nodded and sipped out of my straw waiting.

"How's Wanda?" he said again.

I took a big drink, "Fine." I paused, "She asks about you." I watched his face, "She says she hopes you're well."

Ian smirked, "God I love that woman." He took the fourth shot.

I smiled; I knew it'd get interesting soon. Half a glass of whiskey and his four shot tribute. It'd start soon.

"Next time ya see her, tell her I'm doing fine." He wasn't done and I knew it, "And if ya want to you can say I think about her sometimes."

"More like all the time." I whispered to myself.

I waited for him to talk while I drank my coke and he drained his glass and got a refill. This was his time. I met him twice a week for a shot. Then I'd sit here with him and listen while he drake and vented. He didn't get much of a chance to do it often and I was the one he liked to talk to because I knew Wanda better than anyone.

"Mel." He said yawning, "d'you ever ask her where she thinks we went wrong?" I shrugged. "Because…. Cause I've been trying to figure it out."

Wes refilled my drink. I smiled at him and he walked away, he knew to leave us be to talk.

"Cause…. See Mel, I think I didn't…. show her how important she was…. To me." He looked down at his wedding ring, "Maybe it was because we didn't have sex enough."

I cringed. I hated it when he talked about doing Wanda. She was my baby sister and it made me want to kick his ass.

"Maybe it was because I worked so much…. and maybe…. Maybe it was the arguing…. She can argue, ya know, when she thinks she's right." He started to take bigger gulps.

"And she's, ya know, still important to you?" I prompted casually sipping at my drink. What a stupid question. He practically stalks her, of course she's important to him.

I saw tears start to fill his eyes, "More than life." He took another drink.

"Why don't you tell her that?" I said. _That would solve things a lot faster._ "You could try to woow her again. Ya know send her flowers and cute notes like you did when you were dating."

He let out a bark of laughter, "Mel she works in a flower shop."

I rolled my eyes. Same line…. As always.

"That doesn't mean you can't try." I said, "Who knows. Maybe she'll fall in love with you all over. And..." I cringed again, "Maybe it'd make sex more exciting for the both of you."

He smiled a little, "Sure was fun when we were dating."

I put my fingers in my ears but I could still hear him. He was muted but I could still hear every word, "I mean the excitement of not knowing if we were gonna gets caught. Me sneaking up to her room threw her window after everyone went to sleep and spending the night, then having to get out before anyone woke up." He laughed, "And going to bases 1 threw 3 in privet places like that part of the college library that no one ever goes to. One time when we were supposed to be studying she dragged me back there and we went all the way. Or the janitors closet at my work. Or-"

"Yea the two of you were almost worse than Jared and I."I had to stop him before he could continue, and make me really kick his ass; and throw up.

When I was half done with my drink I checked my watch. Jared would be here in 45 minutes.

"You know.. I love her. I can't sleep at night so sometimes I drive over to the house and just sit there." He talked in between taking drinks, "She still goes to bed at 10. Then she gets up about midnight and sits in the front room till she falls asleep with the lights still on."

"Sounds more like stalking to me." I muttered. _If he isn't living with her he's stalking her. Damn she'd never get rid of him even if she wanted to._

"She's not sleeping well. I can tell. And I can't sleep. It got better this weekend though. I watched the kids and Katie, ya know Kyle's four year old, she fell asleep cuddling next to me with her mountains of stuffed animal. I actually slept with that little girl at my side. Sunny has pictures. She thinks it's so cute. The way Katie was snuggled up to me." He snorted, "Little Katie asked where 'Auntie Wanna' was. I told her that she was at home." He frowned and touched his wedding ring, "And Katie asked me when I was going to go home." He let tears fall and his voice cracked, "I told her I didn't know."

I smiled. I could almost see this happening, cute little Katie eye to eye with Ian putting him in dress up and reading stories with him and every once in a while tearing Ian's heart out. Unknowingly causing her favorite, and only, uncle pain.

"God!" Ian said in frustration slamming the glass down a little of the drink spilled, "She pisses me off. She's so fine in her new job and her new wardrobe and her…. Her smile." He drained his glass in one drink and Wes refilled it.

I rolled my eyes. Wanda only got a job because she couldn't depend on Ian's income anymore. She needed some way to support herself. Wanda's new wardrobe, when she wasn't at work or out in public, was overly large sweat pants and a t-shirt of Ian's that he'd left behind. She only looked ok from the outside with the show she put on. And these days when she wasn't performing, she rarely smiled.

"God. I still want her. I thought the time…."

"And the alcohol." I added in a whisper, cause he wouldn't.

"I thought that it'd take her away. Ya know, throw her and the good memories away so I'd have so many reasons to sign the papers." He took a long drink, "But it doesn't. It just makes me want her more."

"Because you're not willing to let her go." I said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Willing? Willing! If it'd talk the pain away I'd beg her to go. But that's the thing. No matter how hard I try…. She won't go away." He chugged his glass in four small gulps. "When I look at other girls with Brant and Aaron, all I can see is the parts of the girls that remind me of Wanda."

He put his head in his hands and I shook my head when Wes began walk over to refill his glass. "Like what?"

"Lots of things. Like one girl with curly hair, her curls bounced just the way Wanda's does. And a girl who was walking past walked with her purse the way that Wanda does." I heard tears in his voice, "And a couple. The girl kissed her man with the same look that Wanda used to give me."

He broke down crying and I patted his shoulder soothingly, "What's the problem with these girls? Besides the one that already had a guy." He didn't respond, "I'll tell you what's wrong with them, they aren't Wanda. What you and Wanda have is special. It doesn't just go away in two months with twice weekly alcohol drowning."

"That's hardly enough to drown in." Wes said.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that the minute I leave he'll have way more than enough to drown himself."

"Mel…. I.. I can't go on. Not without her. If I can't hold her in my arms and hold her hand or sleep next to her, kiss her lips. Life isn't worth living if I can't come home to the woman I love and make love to her like an animal."

I cringed again. "Then tell her. Tell her you love her tell her that you need her. Tell her that you want to stay."

Ian straightened up, "I can't. She hates me. You didn't see her face. The night she told me to get out. I've never seen such hatred in a person. I never thought she could hate anyone." He raised his empty glass in his left hand towards the wall like he was making a toast "But I'm the luckiest man alive."

I knew where that was from. He'd made a toast at his own wedding, made it to his bride and told her and the entire room that he was the luckiest man alive. I sighed.

He took a deep breath and hiccupped, "You know sometime when you see her you should tell her that I still love her and 'the lights still on for her'. At least that's the way Sunny said I should say it."

I looked down just as my phone lit up with a picture of Jared and I. He was outside.

I got up. "I gotta go. But Ian." I grabbed his chin and made him look at me. "Think about it. If you don't ever tell her you're irreversibly in love with her; and you sign those papers. She'll be gone and you won't be able to go back."

I started to walk away. I got about four steps away before he stopped me, "You know sometime when you see her you should tell her that I still love her. And even if it takes forever tell her I'll still be here."

I smiled at his defeated face, poor guy, "sure thing Ian." And I turned to walk out. I knew he really wanted me to but he'd always call the next day and ask me not to tell her any of the mushy stuff he said. And I wouldn't tell her cause she'd never believe it coming from me.

**Let me know what you think. Leave a Review and Fallow cause there's more coming.**


	4. Chapter 2: Alcoholic Depressant

**Here it is. If Mel's version was sad and depressing then grab a box of tissues and read what was going through Ian's mind.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host'**

**Chapter 2: If you see her**

**Ian's POV**

I looked at the golden liquid in my cup. Life almost wasn't worth living, not without her. I drank.

Mel should be arriving soon. She's such a good friend to me. She meets me for these vent sessions and though she's Wanda's sister she doesn't hate me.

I remembered when I'd first seen Mel and Wanda. I thought they'd been friends but it turns out they were sisters. It'd been odd because Mel looks so much like their mother but Wanda looks like her dad. Not that he has long luscious blonde curls and lips that are so easily kissable. No from the picture of him in High School Wanda's mom had showed me he'd been blonde, fair skinned and had lots of freckles.

Wanda had been sitting on this exact bar stool. You could tell because it had a 'WI' carved on the bottom of the seat. It was the fourth from the right. I'd been a stupid senior in college out with some buddies trolling for some chick to nail in the back of a van I borrowed from my parents because my bike had been in the shop getting painted.

My buddy Brent had been with me and pointed over at the bar, pointing out a couple of girls that were the perfect pray. A brunette and a blonde. I'd decided to take the blonde, blondes were easier, and we were getting ready to approach when two guys walked up. Jared had walked up with a ginger, Burns, who'd grown up with next to the girls.

I smiled at Brent, he always liked the girls who were hard to get. So we approached.

I slid up next to Wanda who was sitting at the bar, fourth from the right. "Hey Jeff get this girl a drink."

She'd looked at me and smiled, "'Get this girl a drink' Gee never heard that one before."

I smiled widely at her, "Well it was either that or 'come here often?' But I decided on the less of the cheesy two."

On the other side of us Brent was having no luck with Melanie. She'd laughed at his stupid jokes but Jared wasn't having it. When Bent asked if he could dance with Mel; Jared punched him in the face and took Mel to dance himself.

I'd barely registered that because I couldn't ignore the girl in front of me, "Personally I like the 'buy a drink' bit. Because I get a free drink out of it."

Jeff, the bartender that night, had got us two shots of tequila and we both took a shot.

"So come here often?" I asked acting curiously as Jeff replaced her shot with a glass of whiskey she'd ordered before I came over.

She laughed and I saw her gray eyes shine with some silver; it was beautiful. "Sometimes, I'm not really into going out. My sister is though. If I come here it's to have a chill pill drink to calm the nerves."

I ran my fingers threw my black hair feeling a bit nervous myself, "Now what would a gorgeous girl like you have to be nervous about?"

She sighed, "Exams. I'm a student at Caves college."

"What a coincidence, I too go to that same college."

She seemed really interested for the first time, "Oh really? What's your major?"

"Engineering. But I play on the college's soccer team. How about you?"

She twirled a straw around in her drink, "Art major with a minor in theater."

"Oooo an actress huh?"

She'd blushed and took a drink, "Yea. But I mostly do costume design and set design."

"I can't see you painting a set background." I said leaning on my elbow.

"No." she said giggling, "I just design and supervise. Not like anyone would let me help anyway."

"So does your boyfriend help you do set's?" I asked bracing myself for a yes.

"Oh yea he helps me do all kinds of things." She said winking at me, "Well when he appears in my dreams anyway."

"So you don't have a boyfriend?" I asked shocked.

"Nope." She said shaking her head so her blonde curls when flying.

I smelt the scent coming from her hair, it smelt like some sort of flowery scent. It was intoxicating. Once her hair stopped flying I gently grabbed a lock of it, "May I?"

"Sure." She said.

I bent down and smelled her hair we were really close and I heard her breath speed up; I smiled. "Your hair smells great what's that smell?" I leaned away.

"It's probably my Shampoo and Conditioner." She said nervously taking a big drink. "It's Aloe and Lily flower scented."

"I like it." I was more than interested in this girl. She was pretty, gorgeous the prize a sex crazed college boy dreams of. But more than her looks she was smart.

As the night went on she drank two of her drinks and when she got up to go to the bathroom she almost fell she was so tipsy. I caught her before she could hit the ground. "Thanks." She said. I helped her to the bathroom and waited for her to come out.

I knew that if I didn't help her walk to the bathroom she'd either fall over or get taken by someone else. When she was done and she came out I asked if she wanted to get out of there, I offered her a ride home. She'd accepted and I'd driven her to her place. I'd only had a shot and had my wits about me so it wasn't a problem.

It was dark, she said her parents weren't home and asked if I wanted to come in. I accepted. Better in a house than in the back of the van. She deserved better than a dirty uncomfortable van anyway.

We went in and sat on the couch in her front room, "I really enjoyed spending time with you at the bar." I said facing her.

"Yea. Who thought I'd meet such a nice guy on my break from studying." She said facing me.

I leaned forward and she did too, our lips were inches from each other before I spoke, "Wanda? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure" she breathed the smell of alcohol on her breath.

"Can I kiss you?"

She smiled, "I thought you'd never ask."

I touched my lips to hers and we kissed for a while before I leaned forward and laid her on the couch. She giggled and I started kissing down her soft neck.

"I'm not sure we should be doing this. I mean I don't even know your name."

I continued to kiss her neck. "It's Ian."

I felt her neck tense up under my lips and I pulled back, "What is it?"

"Ian? Ian O'Shea?"

I was surprised she knew who I was, "Yea." She gasped and bit her lip as she sat up and I saw moisture collect in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Your Ian O'Shea….Capitan of the soccer team. I heard from my best friend that all the captain boys on the sports teams were supposed to nail a girl tonight."

I felt heat creep up into my face. She knew. "No, it's not like that." I said. And truthfully it wasn't entirely like that. I'd become more than just sexually interested in her, I'd become intellectually interested in her. She was hard working, selfless and the nicest person I'd ever met.

She wiped the moisture out of her eyes, "Oh of course not." Her voice full of sarcasm. "It never is, is it?" I tried to grab her hand but she ripped it out from under mine. "I think you should leave."

I got up and left. The next day I bought her flowers and begged her to go out with me. It took some convincing but she accepted. I left the 'sex crazed college jock' life and became a devoted, hard working college guy who was entirely loyal to Wanda. Two years later I purposed, right on this very bar stool.

Wanda. My best friend. My wife. My lover. My world. My life. My soul. Mine…. I took a particular long drink.

My glass was half empty by the time Melanie walked in and over to me. I saw Wes, the bar tender; hold up one finger letting her know this was my first glass.

I swear she thinks I'm an alcoholic. And I had to half agree with her. Since Wanda kicked me out and I started living with Kyle and Sunny I'd been coming here more and more. Mel only knew I came here twice weekly but I'd come in anywhere from 4-6 times a week to get various shades of drunk.

I know Kyle tries not to say anything; he thinks he understands my pain. Sunny put her foot down and said that I couldn't bring alcohol into the house and that I had to be sober when I was around my adorable niece Katie.

"Hey Ian." Mel said sweetly patting my back.

"Hey Mel." He said.

"How's it going." I asked.

"Good." I said motioning to Wes for my traditional four shots; four was her favorite number.

"Sure Ian. You look like you're doing good." She said her voice full of sarcasm. Wes set two shot glasses on the counter and filled them with clear liquid.

I toasted Wanda in my head and downed my shot.

I saw her, out of the corner of my eye, staring at my unshaven face and blood shot eyes. I hadn't been getting very good sleep. Not since I was kicked out. I blamed it on Wanda, she had me get so use to her being by my side that I couldn't sleep without a person next to me.

Might as well ask, "How's Wanda?" I didn't plan it but my voice broke on her name. _I'm so weak._ I thought mentally punching myself.

"Oh, the usual." Mel said with an air of repeating the same thing for the thousandth time in her voice, "Pretty much just like last week. She is enjoying her work at the flower shop with Lily."

I had to know and if anyone would know it'd be Mel. So I approached the subject, "She dating anyone?" I said looking at her and run my pointer finger around the top of my whiskey glass.

"No. Of course not. She wouldn't." She sounded truly shocked.

So Wanda hadn't told her, so I knew she was moving on before Mel did. I laughed, "Looked pretty cozy to not be dating him."

"What do you mean?" she said.

"If she didn't tell you it's not my place to say anything." I knew she'd persist.

"Ian, come on. Tell me, what makes you think she's dating someone?" she said. I had to get this off my chest, it was killing me. Even if Wanda hadn't told her that she was dating him maybe she'd be able to she'd some light on the situation.

"Well," I turned my shoulders to face her, "I um…. rode by the house on my way to Kyle's. It was kind of habit." _Actually I'd been riding by to try and just get a glimpse of her to get me threw my week._ "Anyway, I saw a car in the driveway that I didn't recognize so I doubled back. I sat across the street and watched Wanda and Burns, you know that guy you guys lived next to when we were kids. The kid that was homeschooled." As I spoke I relived the memory although it was a bit fuzzy from the alcohol, "Yea, well I saw them sitting on the couch talking."

"And that made you think she was cheating on you?" she said. She was trying to not laugh I could see it in her face.

"No. What made me think that was she had her arm on the back of the couch and he grabbed her hand." A wave of the jealousy I'd felt that night swept over me. I was always jealous over any man that had anything to do with my Wanda. I'd nearly got thrown in jail during college because of all the fights I got into over her. I'd once…. Or twice…. Beaten up a guy for checking her out. I was even jealous of Jared, he could at least still talk to her without incurring rath.

Mel smiled and put her hand over her mouth to keep form laughing.

"It's not funny. Anyway she didn't pull away. And then she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek." She was shaking with her suppressed laughter, "Stop laughing."

She took a moment to compose herself, "Did anything else happen?"

"Yea well she leaned into his shoulder. I snuck up to the window to get a better look and they were just sitting there holding hands her leaning on his shoulder. Almost got caught though. They closed the curtains after that."

I swear her smile widened, "Bet you waited outside till he left."

I turned towards the bar, she knew me well by now. "I didn't expect him to leave. Ya know what I saw was proof enough for me." Proof. Proof she was moving on. Proof that she'd forgotten our wedding vows to love each other forever. Proof that she was cheating on me. It counted as cheating since we were just separated and not divorced. "Anyway when he left she walked him to his car. She was wrapped in her favorite blanket. Ya know the one I bought her the night we got engaged." She nodded still shaking with silent laughter.

"Anyway. They said goodbye and before he got in the car he kissed her on the cheek." The jealousy flared up and I had to take a deep breath, "Then he left and she went back inside. She did some things downstairs and then she went to bed and I left."

Mel couldn't hold it in anymore. She started laughing so hard, I didn't see what was so funny.

I turned and glared at her if she thought this was funny she couldn't be trusted. "What the fuckin' hell is the god damn matter with you?"

She put her hands up in a sign of surrender, "I'm sorry. It's just you have them all wrong."

"Correct me then." If she could give me anything that made the situation not what I thought it was I'd take it.

She continued to laugh, "Burns…. Is…. Gay!"

I was stunned but I let a little smile slip and turned to the bar again, "Well that explains a lot." I muttered amused. I had to admit that was comforting. And it would explain why he goes to the gym but barely tries to work out.

It took Mel at least five minutes to stop laughing enough to talk to me again.

While she was gaining control of herself I became depressed again. If Wanda was seeking comfort from her gay buddy then that meant that she was upset and probably in emotional pain. The thought of her in pain made me want to die because I was most likely the one had inflicted it. I took two shots and drank whiskey in between. How could I live with myself for making her hurt; I love her so much.

"So found a place yet?" Mel asked taking her shot which Wes replaced with a coke.

How many times had I been asked that today? At least four times. First Kyle, he wanted me out of his house. Then my boss being curious then a couple of guys at work who knew about my being separated. "Nope." I said with more harshness in my tone then I meant.

She sipped her drink waiting for me to talk. That's what happened when Mel came, she'd sip coke and I'd talk about anything that had to do with Wanda while hitting my liver with any alcoholic beverage available.

"How's Wanda?" I asked again. _Damn I wanted to see her._

She took a big drink, "Fine." she paused, "She asks about you." I knew she was watching my face I hoped that she didn't see the interest in my eyes, "She says she hopes you're well."

I smirked, that was just like Wanda. Even though she was going through a ruff time she still thought about others first. "God I love that woman." I shot myself with my fourth shot to drown the truth of my words.

I saw that she'd smiled; about now I'd be crying and I knew it was going to come up soon enough. I needed to rant about my feelings and that's what Mel was here for. I wanted to have her say something to Wanda, she'd wished me well so I should say something back.

"Next time ya see her, tell her I'm doing fine." I paused, "And if ya want to you can say I think about her sometimes."

"More like all the time." She whispered.

She waited for me to talk while she drank her coke and I drained my glass and got a refill.

"Mel." I said yawning, "d'you ever ask her where she thinks we went wrong?" She shrugged. "Because…. Cause I've been trying to figure it out."

I had been trying to figure it out. What led to this? What led to me sitting in a sentimental seat drinking her favorite number in shots and only venting my feelings to her older sister?

Wes refilled her drink even though it was only half empty and walked away. "Cause…. See Mel, I think I didn't…. show her how important she was…. To me." I looked at my wedding ring, "Maybe it was because we didn't have sex enough."

I saw her cringed. I knew she wasn't too fond of my talking about the two of us having sex because she was Wanda's big sister and once she even threatened to kick my ass; but I didn't care. "Maybe it was because I worked so much."I had been putting in a lot of hours before she kicked me out but I'd been secretly saving to have us go on a second honeymoon. "And maybe…. Maybe it was the arguing." We did argue a lot before we split up. "She can argue, ya know, when she thinks she's right." I took a bigger gulp when I drank this time.

"And she's, ya know, still important to you?" She said casually sipping at her drink. She knew the answer to her question but she was keeping the rant going.

I felt tears start to fill my eyes blurring my vision, "More than life." I took another drink.

"Why don't you tell her that?" She said. She always said that, tell her. Tell her. That was all anyone had to tell me. "You could try to woow her again. Ya know send her flowers and cute notes like you did when you were dating."

I let out a bark of laughter, "Mel she works in a flower shop."

She rolled my eyes. "That doesn't mean you can't try. Who knows. Maybe she'll fall in love with you all over. And..." she cringed again, "Maybe it'd make sex more exciting for the both of you."

I smiled a little, "Sure was fun when we were dating." After a month of 'woowing' her she finally accepted that I wasn't just looking to nail her and we'd spent the night together at her house while her parents were away and Mel was at Jared's. I remembered her and I's make out on the couch then she dragged me upstairs into the master bedroom. It was the best sex I'd ever had. It was like our bodies were built for each other.

She put her fingers in her ears but I continued, "I mean the excitement of not knowing if we were gonna gets caught. Me sneaking up to her room threw her window after everyone went to sleep and spending the night, then having to get out before anyone woke up." I laughed, "And going to bases 1 threw 3 in privet places like that part of the college library that no one ever goes to. One time when we were supposed to be studying she dragged me back there and we went all the way. Or the janitors closet at my work. Or-"

"Yea the two of you were almost worse than Jared and I." I was glad she said almost because she and Jared were defiantly worse than Wanda and I.

I kept quiet and drank while Mel drank her drink. When she was half done with her drink I saw her check her watch. Jared always dropped her off and picked her up.

"You know.." I said, "I love her. I can't sleep at night so sometimes I drive over to the house and just sit there." I said in between taking drinks, "She still goes to bed at 10. Then she gets up about midnight and sits in the front room till she falls asleep with the lights still on."

"Sounds more like stalking to me." she muttered.

"She's not sleeping well. I can tell. And I can't sleep. It got better this weekend though. I watched the kids and Katie, ya know Kyle's four year old, she fell asleep cuddling next to me with her mountains of stuffed animal. I actually slept with that little girl at my side. Sunny has pictures. She thinks it's so cute. The way Katie was snuggled up to me." I snorted, "Little Katie asked where 'Auntie Wanna' was. I told her that she was at home." I frowned and touched my wedding ring, "And Katie asked me when I was going to go home." A tear fell and my voice cracked, "I told her I didn't know."

I wished I could have said "as soon as your mommy and daddy get home" but I couldn't. I wanted to go home so bad; with all of my soul. But she was still mad at me, I just knew it. Once we'd saw each other and she'd met my eye for a minute and I almost thought that everything was forgiven and we were ourselves again but then Aaron and Brant came back over and threw some junk food into the cart and Wanda glared at all three of us and then with a flip of her blonde curls walked away.

"God!" I said in frustration slamming the glass down a little of it spilled, "She pisses me off. She's so fine in her new job and her new wardrobe and her…. Her smile." I couldn't handle the thought, I drained my glass in one drink and Wes refilled it.

When I heard that she'd gotten a job from Sunny I was happy for her but I was also a bit upset because if she could support herself then she didn't need me. I'd walked by a couple times and I'd seen Wanda smiling and beaming, really happy. I'd seen that Wanda had gotten a new wardrobe. The shirts, tank tops and dresses were all bright and soft colors, they flattered her in every way. Once I'd come by the shop before it closed and she was closing the door wearing a light blue dress with flowers on it. Men passing by would stare at her and then look back at her when they passed her, I wanted to bash in their faces. She always looked so happy and content with life without me; while I was having to rely on a four year old to get me out of bed in the morning.

"God. I still want her. I thought the time…."

"And the alcohol." She added.

"I thought that it'd take her away. Ya know, throw her and the good memories away so I'd have so many reasons to sign the papers." I took a long drink; _Damn papers_, "But it doesn't. It just makes me want her more." I wanted to die. The feeling of having her hate me but me loving her so much was just more than I could bare.

"Because you're not willing to let her go." She said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Willing? Willing! If it'd talk the pain away I'd beg her to go. But that's the thing. No matter how hard I try…. She won't go away." I chugged the rest of my glass, "When I look at other girls with Brant and Aaron, all I can see is the parts of the girls that remind me of Wanda." I put my head in my hands.

"Like what?"

"Lots of things; Like one girl with curly hair, her curls bounced just the way Wanda's does. And a girl who was walking past walked with her purse the way that Wanda does." I knew I was going to cry and I knew it came out in my voice. "And a couple; the girl kissed her man with the same look that Wanda used to give me."

I remembered all those things in such great detail. I knew Wanda, I knew her better than I knew myself and I remembered every little moment that we spent together. Those memories just wouldn't go away and they're all I can think about.

I broke down crying and Mel patted my shoulder soothingly, "What's the problem with these girls? Besides the one that already had a guy." I didn't respond, "I'll tell you what's wrong with them, they aren't Wanda. What you and Wanda have is special. It doesn't just go away in two months with twice weekly alcohol drowning."

"That's hardly enough to drown in." Wes said.

"I know that the minute I leave he'll have way more than enough to drown himself."

I would. I'd drink until Wes said I'd had enough or Kyle would come to drag me out. "Mel…. I.. I can't go on. Not without her. If I can't hold her in my arms and hold her hand, sleep next to her, kiss her lips. Life isn't worth living if I can't come home to the woman I love and make love to her like an animal."

I knew she cringed again but I didn't care. "Then tell her. Tell her you love her. Tell her that you need her. Tell her that you want to stay."

I straightened up, I want to but.. "I can't. She hates me. You didn't see her face. The night she told me to get out. I've never seen such hatred in a person. I never thought she could hate anyone." I raised my empty glass in my left hand towards the wall like he was making a toast my wedding ring shone reminding me of the night we'd become man and wife. "But I'm the luckiest man alive."

A direct quote; that night I'd made a toast to my Wanda and told her and the entire world that I was the luckiest man alive. I heard Mel sighed. I really wanted to go back to my wife but I can't talk to her, not when she's mad at me and so happy where she is. If anyone deserves to be happy it's her.

I took a deep breath and hiccupped, "You know sometime when you see her you should tell her that I still love her and 'the lights still on for her'. At least that's the way Sunny said I should say it." Sunny had this little book of fancy ways to say things and she'd told me to say that to Wanda.

I felt a vibration and I saw Melanie look down at picture of her and Jared. He was here to pick her up.

Mel stood up but wasn't going to leave without the last word. "I gotta go. But Ian." she grabbed my chin and made me look at her. "Think about it. If you don't ever tell her you're irreversibly in love with her; and you sign those papers. She'll be gone and you won't be able to go back."

I didn't plan on signing that terrible document. When Sunny had given them to me I'd cried for hours and then put them under the duffle bag with my clothes. I hadn't touched them since and I wouldn't sign them until Wanda and I talked and she begged me to sign them. Begged me with those big gray eyes with the splash of silver. Her big long eye lashes. Her soft pink lips.

I spoke when she got about four steps away, "You know sometime when you see her you should tell her that I still love her. And even if it takes forever tell her I'll still be here."

She smiled at me, "sure thing Ian." And walked out.

Wes walked over, "You want another?" he asked, I nodded, "She's right ya know."

I looked up at him, "I'm not signing the papers."

"No." he said pouring the drink, "You should tell her, it's not fair to her and its not fair to you."

I looked at my wedding ring again and picked up the cup, "No offence man. But I don't really wanna talk about her. I just want to drink."

And I did. I drank and drank. After a while Wes said I'd had enough and I called Kyle to come and get me. On our way to his house I typed a text.

**I STILL LOVE YOU!**

I saved it as a draft and didn't send it.

When I got to Kyle's I went to my room and laid on the bed and tried to see straight that was a lost cause to I closed my eyes and felt myself drifting off. "I love you Wanda." I whispered and fell asleep to dream of her.

***offers a tissue* I'm sorry about that. Of course it's to be expected if Wanda kicked him out he'd be totally distraught. To answer questions; No-Ian is not an alcoholic. No-he doesn't attend AA and Yes-he's gonna continue drinking till she takes him back.**

**WANDA TAKE HIM BACK ALREADY! WE, THE FANDOM, CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE!**

**Well maybe Mel will talk some sense into her next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 3: A Soul In The Dark

**I know its been forever since I updated but here it is.**

**Now I know that the Ian chapters were totally depressing but hey, this story is sad. But now we can see the opposite side. *drum roll* It's the Mel-Wanda chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host'**

**Chapter 3: If you see him**

(M)

I pulled into her driveway; she'd planted some flowers out front and had Jared mow the lawn so it looked really nice, normal even. But I knew what was waiting in the house was in need of more love, care and attention than the outside. No one would blame her if her yard got neglected just so she was taking care of herself, but I guess what are big sisters for?

I knocked on the door and entered. She was expecting me or it'd be locked. Wanda was standing in the landing/foyer holding a duster and dusting a picture of her and Ian that was hanging on the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Wanda." I said.

"Mel, you're here!" she said coming over in a short run and hugging me. The duster fell to the floor. I bent to pick it up for her, "Forget about it. I'll pick it up later."

I could tell that she was happy to see me because she was lonely. It was a Saturday and she was given the day off. Poor Wanda, all alone in the house filled with pictures and memories of the man she loved. I know it would torcher me if Jared and I split and I had to be around memories all the time.

I looked at her; that defiantly wasn't helping. "Wanda, why are you wearing that shirt again?" she was wearing her usual 'I'm at home and I'm actually not ok' outfit of sweats and one of Ian's shirts that he'd left behind.

"Its comfortable." She said blushing and looking down at the floor.

"Don't you ever wash it?"

"Of course." She said sounding a little offended, "It's just comfortable and I want to feel comfortable in my home."

I leaned in close and pulled away frowning, "It's got Ian's cologne on it. Has he been here lately?"

"He left a bottle here." She said looking at her bare feet.

I sighed. She just wouldn't admit that she went and bought a thing of Ian's chosen cologne and sprayed it on the shirt every time she washed it. I wouldn't be surprised if she sprayed the cologne on his pillow too. "Why don't we go into the front room?"

We walked hand in hand threw the doorway to the right into the front room. The coffee table and the couch were covered in 2 years of dating pictures and her wedding and honeymoon pictures. "What's all this?" I guessed that she'd been reminiscing and missing him.

"Oh nothing." She said putting a mechanical smile on her face. She walked over to the far side of the couch to the ottoman, "I brought these out so I could make a scrapbook. It might be fun."

I looked at her feet and saw her push a box of tissues out of sight. I looked at her eyes and saw that they were bloodshot and the bags under her eyes were becoming darker. I frowned at her. "Wanda, just because you hide the box doesn't mean you haven't been crying. And just because you can smell his cologne doesn't mean it'll make you sleep."

Her smile faulted, "What are you talking about Mel? I'm just fine. I'm great even."

I put my hands on my hips and stared at her, "Just because you say it doesn't make it true." Her smile disappeared to be replaced by a sad frown. I softened too and made my way toward her trying not to step on the pictures, not an easy task. When I got to her I sat her down on the ottoman and grabbed both her hands in mine, "It's me Wanda. It's just us girls. I'm your sister for god's sake; you don't have to put on that fake bull shit 'I'm great' act. I'm your sister, be real with me."

She took in a raddling breath and moisture gathered at the bottom of her eyes. "When I'm real I always cry."

"Then cry. You can cry in front of me. Hell if anyone has excuses to cry you do." I said kneeling down in front of her.

She let it go. She blinked and the tears over flowed. She flung her arms around my neck and cried into my shoulder. I tried to look out the window, Ian had told me he could spy on her from that window, she needed to cry without an audience. "Let's go upstairs huh? It'll be comfy up there."

I didn't really give her time to respond and she was crying too hard to speak anything coherent. I stood up and she did to, being still attached to me. I was taller so she went onto her tippy toes to keep her arms around me. I picked her up 'bridal style' with one hand on her waist and one under her knee. She had always been small and light and I'd always been pretty strong. But since she hadn't eaten well the last two months they'd been apart she was even thinner than before. I carried her around the circle of pictures to the landing. I, with great skill and effort, locked the front door before carrying her upstairs into her and Ian's bedroom. Speaking with Ian last night I tried not to imagine anything that went on, on that bed but I laid on her side of the bed with her in my arms and held her while she cried.

I wasn't sure exactly how long she cried but I held her the whole time stroking her hair and rubbing her back. She liked that, ever since she was a baby I remember that our mother rubbed her back when she had nightmares or when we couldn't calm her down rubbing her back always helped. She did calm down and eventually stopped crying.

"Do you feel better?" I asked.

"No." she said sticking out her lower lip in a childlike pout.

I tried to think of something. I looked around the room looking for idea's and eventually ended up looking at my feet. I got an idea, "I know. How about I give you a mani-pedi."

"I don't know." She said in the same childlike pout.

I smiled, "Oh come on Wanda you used to love having me paint your nails. You said it made you feel pretty."

"I don't want to feel pretty." She pouted.

"How about I paint your nails and you tell me everything about why you're upset." I suggested.

She thought for a moment. "Okay."

I got up and started to walk towards her adjoined bathroom, "The nail polish is still in the closet right?" I asked almost to the door.

"Oh Mel. I have the color I want." She said opening her bedside table and pulling out a beautiful blue color and tossing it to me.

I looked at the label; it had been a piece of paper taped on top of the label. The paper read 'Ian's Eyes' it was obviously written by Wanda I recognized her handwriting. "You want this one?" I asked holding it up.

She nodded, "Well I can't see his eyes every morning so I have to have the color somewhere in the house right?"

I rolled my eyes, "Ok." At least she admitted one thing that was bothering her. But it'd take a lot more prying and coaxing to get her to let it all out. I nodded and walked over to drag a stool from the bathroom to the foot of the bed and grab toe and fingernail clippers as well as a filer, a buffer and a clear coat polish. I took everything and and set her feet on the stool while she laid on her back and breathed.

"So, Wanda, no bull shit this time. How are you?" I asked using the toe nail clippers to take off a little bit of nail off her toenails.

She took a breath, "Sometimes it's hard to tell." She exhaled, "Sometimes I feel like I could be happy but then the sadness overshadows it." I nodded. I could see that. "Have you see Ian?"

"Yep." I said grabbing the filer, "He says he's doing fine and he says he thinks of you sometimes."

I felt her toes twitch, "Really? He said that?"

"Direct quote." I said opening the bottle of polish.

She sighed heavily, "Damn Mel. Why hasn't he come home yet? I mean it's not like I sprayed 'Ian repellant'. I mean wouldn't he at least want to come over and talk to me? I mean it's not like we were married for four years. He's gotta miss me more than 'I think about you sometimes.' I mean I do. I miss him so much."

I rolled my eyes. _He misses you so much. He's just too afraid that you hate him to come._ "Maybe he will."

"Yea right. He didn't even come when he needed his clothes. I mean he sent Jared in to get his things. He wasn't even in the car." I nodded while Wanda started to get passionate and mad. "And when I went to give him the divorce papers which he clearly wanted," subtle with the sarcasm, "he wouldn't even come and get them from me. He had Sunny pass them over from me to him."

"Maybe he's afraid that your beautiful gray eyes will make him cry like a baby. Maybe he's afraid you're still mad at him." As if, it's been two months.

"I've seen him cry before." She stated. "And I love him too much to still be mad at him."

"You know what you should do?" I said.

"What?"

"Text him that." I said blowing on the foot I'd just finished, "Text him 'I'm not mad anymore.' Or better yet 'Ian I love you.' I bet that'll get him over here in minutes." Seconds if he's outside being your stalker again.

"No. I can't Mel." She said lifting up the foot I'd finished to look at it while I started the other one. "He's enjoying his new life to much. If he likes it and it makes him happy then what kind of a person would I be if I tried to convince him to leave it."

_He HATES this new life._ I wanted to yell. But that wouldn't be fair to the promise of not telling Wanda anything but the 'doing fine' and 'I think of you sometimes' stuff. "What makes you think he likes his new life?"

She didn't respond right away and I brought the brush to her pinkie toe when she finally answered, "I saw him. I've seen him a couple times. Sometimes I do a drive by of Kyle's to see if he's there."

"Not you too." I whispered blowing on her other finished foot.

"Did you say something Mel?" she asked sitting up.

"Nope." I said innocently.

She frowned; it didn't look natural on her. "Like I was saying I've seen him in his new life. He hangs out with Aaron and Brant at the mall and they check out girls. You should see his face. I watched as he was talking to Aaron one time. It was obviously about a girl and it looked like Ian was talking about her boobs." We both cringed but for different reasons. I knew who's boobs he was talking about. "And while Brant was watching other girls Aaron seemed interested in Ian's opinion or whatever it was."

I rolled my eyes and reached for the clear coat and she laid onto her back again. "God. I love him so much Mel. I almost told him so once. We saw each other at the store. I just stared into his gorgeous eyes for a minute and I was about to tell him I loved him and wanted him to come home when Aaron and Brant went to the cart with a bunch of junk food and I swear I heard Brant tell Ian "Dude Ian I'm totally gonna get you laid tonight." And I couldn't take it so I flipped my hair to hide the fact that I was crying and left. I didn't even buy the food. I just kinda abandoned the cart by the doors."

I patted her ankle in what I hoped was a comforting manner. She was on a rant now and I wasn't about to stop her. She needed this. I didn't want her going catatonic. Or become a alcoholic like Ian was.

"I miss him so much. God you know it totally killed me to go to the court house and get the divorce papers. Then I sat outside Kyle's trying to gather the courage to give them to him. But he hasn't signed them and I still have to sign them before we can turn them in." She took a deep breath as I finished the clear coat on her left foot and I blew on it to dry. "But I don't want to sign them Mel. I don't want to have either of us sign them I just want him to come home."

I sighed for what seemed the millionth time, "Why don't you call and tell him that." I suggested, _Just make the first step and get it over with._

"I can't." she said hitting the bed with her fists, "I can't because he's got to still be angry at me. Plus he likes checking out other girls." I heard tears coming into her voice.

"What other girls could be prettier than you?" I said putting a scoff in there like it was insulting for her to even consider that. He didn't like it at all he just wanted to come home to her.

"Yea. That's what Burns said too." She said lifting her feet up after I blew on the other to dry the clear coat.

"Oh speaking of Burns. Ian drove by and he saw Burns was over." I laughed, "He thought you and Burns were together."

Wanda laughed too, "What'd you say?"

"I let him finish his story and then laughed at him and told him Burns was gay." I smirked, "He said that it made more sense now."

Wanda laughed but the smile that came with the laughter didn't really register, it was too forced. When she stopped laughing she turned to lay on her stomach carful not to ruin my work on her toes. I grabbed the three sided buffer and started on her left hand first. "Burns just popped in on me. He was so sweet. He brought me a fake wooden rose and we sat on the couch and talked. I was telling him how much I loved Ian and how much I missed him when he grabbed my hand. I didn't care ya know because he's gay and my heart and love belongs to Ian."

I nodded and mhm'd at all the right places while she continued.

"Of course when I got far enough into explaining how much this separation was hurting I got really upset and he had me sit next to him while he held my hand. And that's really all I needed you know? Someone to hold my hand and to physically be there."

I looked up at her suddenly concerned, "I've been here for you enough right? I mean I want you to know that I'm here."

She waved my concerns away with her free hand, the one not getting buffered. "Mel you've been my rock. I think I needed a man though. Not that Burns is really the man I wanted but he did his job. He comforted me."

I looked at her lifting a eyebrow, "What kind of comfort?"

She went pink, "Mel! He held my hand and gave me hugs and kissed me on the cheek. Nothing more." She hit me lightly with her right hand and I grabbed it and began buffering that one.

"Though I have to say I've been pretty…. Well horny these past couple of weeks."

_Oh no not Wanda too._ I internally groaned. I tried to focus on her nails but the words still came.

"It's not like Ian and I did it as much as you and Jared do but we never went months without it. Or at least not months without some sort of oral."

"I don't really want to hear all the fun details." I said hoping that it didn't sound like I was brushing her off. If she needed to talk about it I'd have to listen.

"I know." She said kicking her feet back and forth with her toes pointed, "But you try going two months without having sex with Jared and see how you fair. It's kind of terrible. I mean Ian and I had a relationship that was more than just physical." She got a faraway look in her eyes, "But when it got physical it really got physical."

I groaned and tried to tune her out focusing entirely on the strokes of the nail polish.. "I mean I thought he was so amazing the night we met. I know I was drunk but oh god he was so amazing and I wanted him so bad. But then I found out who he was and I cried myself to sleep after I kicked him out. I mean I was so devastated that I didn't even want to go to classes the next day."

"No." I said in mock sarcasm. She caught onto it but she didn't call me on it.

"Yea. Imagine. College Wanda not wanting to go to classes. Anyway I just wanted to avoid him and try to forget him. But I couldn't. And I saw him when I got on campus. He was in jean shorts and a gray v-neck. He looked so hot." Her voice was reminiscent. "I was amazed because he had flower. I went to walk past him but he stopped me. He told me that he really did like me and he wasn't just trying to have sex with me like I'd thought."

I snorted. I remembered what Ian had been like before he met Wanda. Mister Captain of the soccer team. Brant's captain and partner in their sexual conquests. But it seemed like the day she'd accepted that he was sorry he almost transformed into a different man entirely.

"It took pretty much the entire day for him to entirely convince me but there was one thing that he did that convinced me. And it was right after he gave me the flowers."

She had my attention, "What did he do?"

She looked at me with a smile on her face. "I hid under the bleachers when he went to the track for his run. There were a couple of the girls I knew for sure that he'd been with. Jealousy ripped through me like crazy and I watched as one of them approached him and went to stroke his bare chest and…." Her smile widened, "He stopped her."

I smiled too, "Really?"

She nodded, "Yea. She approached him as confident as anything and when she put her hands on his chest he grabbed her hands and put them by her side and I heard part of their conversation."

"What was it?" I really wanted to know. She actually hadn't told me about this before.

"He said, "No Jen. We're not doing that anymore." I was so surprised I felt my jaw drop. Then she said something like, "What is it Ian? Meet some other slut that you like better?" and he smiled at her and he said "I met someone who makes me want to be exclusive. I don't want to fool around with anyone but her." She got really upset. It was kinda funny. I sat there under the bleachers and laughed as she screamed at him and pushed him. And then she asked him who this girl was and he smiled at her and said "You'd like that wouldn't you. But I'm not going to tell you because she doesn't deserve to feel your fiery because I love her." That shocked both me and Jen. He'd said he loved me."

"Turns out he did." I said resuming my painting of her nails.

"Yea. But oh my god I waited for a month before I accept that he wasn't just looking for sex."

I groaned again and started a second coat of the blue.

"It was kinda funny because he was totally blue-balled for two weeks of that month. And I used that as a test. If he and I saw each other and he wasn't so blue-balled then I'd call it off." She paused, "But god I wanted to jump him. I had to hold myself back a lot. Then after the month was over I had him spend the night at the house. You were with Jared and mom and dad were out for the weekend."

I was very concentrated on the nail polish. I REALLY didn't want to hear what came next.

"I realized that I loved him. I mean it was only a month but he really cared and took care of me. Oh my god Mel. Ian and I's night together was the best sex I've ever had. And I mean ever. I mean it's like Ian and I were…. Welded together. I mean I kept expecting him to moan or scream some other girls name but it was almost like he'd forgotten about any other girl than me. He moaned my name and I screamed his. God that man is so good with his-"

"Yea. I get it." I cut in. "Please don't finish that sentence sis."

She laughed at me, "You said I could always tell you anything."

I nodded, "Ok. Anything but your sex with Ian."

Her face fell. "Why do you make it seem like there will be more sex for us?"

I shrugged grabbing the clear coat, "Because you guys are made for each other."

Wanda sniffed and I looked up to see tears in her eyes, "If we're so made for each other why isn't he here?"

I didn't flinch, "Because you screamed at him to leave and never come back."

She put her head in her hands. She was careful to not smudge her nails. "I didn't mean it!" She sobbed. "All I want is for him to come home where he belongs."

I sighed and sat next to her on the bed. She buried her face into the comforter and she let her arms droop over the edge. "Wanda." I said, she didn't look up. "Wonderer." Still didn't see those gray eyes. I took a deep breath. "Wonderer Stephanie Marie Stryder O'Shea!"

She looked us, "What?" she said her face in its pouting mode.

"Why don't you stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your situation. Be the first one to say I'm sorry. Or at least tell him you want to talk. I'll even text it for you. You both can't keep going on like this."

She frowned and propped herself up on her elbows, "Both of us going on like what?"

I rolled my eyes, "You are so depressed you bought a nail polish that is the same color as his eyes. Ian spends most of his time at the bar you guys met at. I swear if this goes on for one more month Jared and I are going to be arranging your guy's funerals. Because you guys will probably be so suicidal if this continues."

She looked down at the blankets. "Mel. Don't get mad but…. I'm gonna tell you something."

"What is it?" I asked worried. This can't be good.

"I was shaving the other day and I kept cutting myself with the razor…. And…. It felt good."

I stared at her. This was the last straw. Something's gotta give. I couldn't let this go on.

"Wanda." I said laying beside her, "That's not a good thing. You have to do something about this separation before that becomes a regular thing."

She laid her head on the bed, "Nothing's changed you know…. The fire of my love for Ian is still burning big and bright. And even if it takes forever; I'm going to be here; waiting for him."

I remembered Ian saying something like that…. _"You know sometime when you see her you should tell her that I still love her. And even if it takes forever tell her I'll still be here."_ I took a deep breath, "Wanda. If you want to cry then please cry. But promise me something."

She looked at me, "What?"

"You won't cut yourself on purpose and you won't mess up your nails."

She smiled, "Ok. I promise Mel. To both."

I smiled at her and knelt on the ground to finish her nails, "Everything will work out in the end. I promise."

And I sat there. Painting her nails and holding her hand while she fell apart. The only person who could put her back together was falling apart himself. What a mess.

**Another chapter finished. It's so exciting to write this. But I do wish I'd get more feedback and more fav's and fallows. Oh well. It's depressing I get it. But hey spread the word. And look forward to jumping into Wanda's head next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 4: Missing You

**Alright so it's been long enough sorry to the few people who fallow this. I haven't been able to quite capture the essence of this version of Wanda that I created. But last night I found a song and I was in a mood where I had some intense concentration. But anyways, this one is a pretty long one, Wanda had a lot of thoughts I guess. So grab the popcorn and the box of tissues and get ready to read Wanda's chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host'**

**Chapter 4: If you see him**

**Wanda's POV**

I picked up the box and set it on my lap; I picked up the photo on top and gazed at it. It was us, kissing at our table at our wedding. I sighed, what was the point? Why was I pretending, when all I wanted was him? I set the picture down and picked up the next one.

Picture after picture; Our first engagement pictures, The minute he purposed, Our two year anniversary, Five or six different photo booths; Every picture like a knife in the heart.

Why wasn't he here? I couldn't figure it out. Did I not mean that much to him anymore? Was I just another girl that he'd been with. I knew he had changed from who he was in college to the man that I married but did he miss that single life? Did he wish he'd never married me?

I grabbed another tissue and wiped the tears from my eyes and blew my nose. This was going to kill me. All these un answered question and all of these stupid memories everywhere. I lifted the collar of Ian's shirt that I was wearing and inhaled.

The musky masculine scent filled my lungs and I sat back comforted a little. The first week had been the worst but when I realized that I needed to see his face and breath in the smell of him I'd gone out and bought two bottle of his cologne and I'd gone to Kyle's around the time Ian had to go to work and I watched him get on his bike and drive to work.

I had to admit when I saw these little glimpses of him he looked pretty depressed. But then when I saw him at the mall or the store with Aaron and Brant he usually had a smile on his face and was laughing and looked pretty happy to me.

Me on the other hand, I was always miserable. Sure I put on the fake smile on my face and told the age old lie that I was fine or that I was great. But on the inside I was dying of loneliness and despair.

From the moment that he walked out I'd been miserable. Sure I'd told him to get out and I'd locked the door but I had sunk to the floor against the door and broke into uncontrollable sobs and tears where never in short supply.

I heard a car pull up and saw that it was Mel. I smiled a little to myself. Mel was such a great big sister. She always came over to check on me and to hold me while I cried. I had to thank whatever higher power was out there that my dad had married her mother before he died. And that my step-family just became my family. Of course it was pretty hard for my mother to raise me and Mel at the same time after my dad died. Then to get re-married to a good man. Our family was just full of lucky breaks.

Though this separation wasn't too lucky. I frowned and talked into the foyer. I had brought out the duster so that I could pretend like I wasn't just sitting around crying. I shouldn't feel like I had to do this around Mel but I did. I felt like I had to cover up my depression so that she didn't feel bad either, because when I'm sad Mel's sad. It a sister thing.

I unlocked the door and picked up the duster and started to stroke it across a picture of Ian and I on the two year anniversary of our marriage. I took a deep breath as Mel knocked on the door and entered. "Hey Wanda." She said.

"Mel, you're here!" I said dropping the duster to run and hugging her. I missed having people around. Mel tried to pick it up the duster, "Forget about it. I'll pick it up later."

I was so happy to see her. I'd been crying on the couch looking at pictures for a hour or so. I'd really liked taking pictures of Ian and I when we were dating. They were all over the couches in the front room.

Mel looked at me with a frown, "Wanda, why are you wearing that shirt again?" I knew that she knew why I was wearing it but I never wanted to actually admit it to anyone, not even Mel.

"Its comfortable." I said blushing and looking down at the floor. She knew I was lying; I was always a bad liar.

"Don't you ever wash it?"

"Of course." I said a bit offended, "It's just comfortable and I want to feel comfortable in my home." I wore this shirt almost every day and every single night. Of course I washed it. Though I'd rather wash it so Ian could wear it.

She leaned in close, and gave a small sniff. "It's got Ian's cologne on it. Has he been here lately?"

"He left a bottle here." I said looking at my bare feet. Again an obvious lie.

I remember the week after the left. I couldn't sleep; no matter how hard I tried I couldn't sleep. Mel had even given up two nights sleeping with Jared to come over and try to help me sleep. But I ended up laying down next to her for half the nighty and the other half of the night just sitting on the couch remembering how the smell of him lulled me to sleep. Of course that was my answer. So that's when I went out and I bought two bottles of his chosen cologne. Of course when he didn't come back I hadn't thought that I'd need to keep using it to sleep, and I never would have thought I'd need to use it for two months. I just figured that he'd come home, we'd make up and he'd have extra.

Mel sighed. "Why don't we go into the front room?"

We walked hand into the front room. When we crossed the threshold I realized she'd take the box of tissues and the 2 years of dating pictures and the wedding and honeymoon pictures as me torturing myself.

Mel always noticed the smallest details when it came to me. When my dad had died she told me I'd cried for a week. When I got to Junior High she'd guessed I'd been bullied, every time I got a crush it'd take her no time at all to guess who it was, when I got to High School I was almost always the first person to get asked to the prom or any dance because Mel saw by the way I acted that I didn't expect to get asked. And when I was dating Ian she was the first one, even before I knew it, to know that I was head over heels in love with him.

"What's all this?" I knew it by the tone of her voice that she guessed that I'd been reminiscing and missing him.

"Oh nothing." I said putting a mechanical smile on my face. I walked over to the ottoman, "I brought these out so I could make a scrapbook. It might be fun."

I push a box of tissues out of sight. But she'd probably noticed everything; my eyes were probably bloodshot and I probably still had bags under my eyes.

She frowned at me. "Wanda, just because you hide the box doesn't mean you haven't been crying. And just because you can smell his cologne doesn't mean it'll make you sleep."

I felt my smile faultier, "What are you talking about Mel? I'm just fine. I'm great even."

She put her hands on my hips and stared me straight in the eyes, "Just because you say it doesn't make it true."

She was right. I immediately let myself sink back into my usual frown.

Mel softened too and made her way toward me trying not to step on the pictures, not an easy task. When she got to me she sat me down and grabbed both my hands in hers, "It's me Wanda. It's just us girls. I'm your sister for god's sake; you don't have to put on that fake bull shit 'I'm great' act. I'm your sister, be real with me."

I took in a rattling breath and I started to cry, again. "When I'm real I always cry."

"Then cry. You can cry in front of me. Hell if anyone has excuses to cry you do."

She had a point so I blinked and the tears over flowed. I flung my arms around her neck and cried into her shoulder. She shifted her head a bit, "Let's go upstairs huh? It'll be comfy up there."

She didn't really give me time to respond and I was crying too hard to speak anything coherent anyway. She stood up and I did to but of course she was taller so I went onto my tippy toes to keep my arms around her. She picked me up, I had always been small and light and she'd always been pretty strong. But since I hadn't eaten well the last two months we'd been apart I was even thinner than before. She carried me around the pictures to the landing. She locked the front door before carrying me upstairs into our bedroom. She laid on me on my side of the bed with my arms still around her, held me while I cried.

I just laid there crying and thinking of him. He was all I thought about.

She held me the whole time stroking my hair and rubbing my back. I liked that, I did calm down and eventually stopped crying.

"Do you feel better?" She asked.

"No." I said sticking out my lower lip like a child.

I could tell that Mel was trying to think of something anything to distract me with as she looked around the room looking for idea's and eventually she ended up with one. "I know. How about I give you a mani-pedi."

"I don't know." I said still in my pout.

She smiled, "Oh come on Wanda you used to love having me paint your nails. You said it made you feel pretty."

"I don't want to feel pretty."

"How about I paint your nails and you tell me everything about why you're upset." She suggested.

I thought for a moment. "Okay."

She got up and started to walk towards my adjoined bathroom, "The nail polish is still in the closet right?" she asked almost to the door.

"Oh Mel. I have the color I want." I said opening my bedside table and pulling out my addiction; Ian's beautiful blue eyes and tossing it to her.

I'd found it while at the store and I'd recognized it immediately and only let go of it to have the lady at the counter scan it. When I got home I'd taped a piece of paper on top of the label; 'Ian's Eyes'

"You want this one?" She asked.

I nodded, "Well I can't see his eyes every morning so I have to have the color somewhere in the house right?"

"Ok." She nodded and went to get the stuff for my pampering while I thought about him. I laid on my back and breathed.

I remembered the night we'd met, the first time I'd seen his eyes up close, well I kind of remembered it. It was a little fuzzy in parts because I was drunk but I'd been studying really hard for a test I had in two days. Mel had badgered me to go to this really cool bar and have a drink to take a chill pill. But little did I know I would be meeting my future that night. We flirted and I wanted him more and more with every drink I had.

I restrained myself during the ride to my place. I wanted him to speed and I wanted to kiss his neck and excite him, to make him want me. Of course it took no persuading to get him into the house. I knew he was a soccer player and my friend Sunny had told me that they had exhalent stamina; she'd know, she was dating the ex-soccer star now-football star, Kyle.

Once I had him in I grabbed his hand and walked him over to the couch in my front room, "I really enjoyed spending time with you at the bar." He said with his brilliant smile.

"Yea. Who thought I'd meet such a nice guy on my break from studying." I said trying to stay cool.

I stared into his brilliant blue eyes, they were the color of ice but they had some sort of fire in them, I hoped it was the fire of attraction. Before I knew it we were only inches apart, he was so close, I hoped he'd just kiss me already.

"Wanda? Can I ask you a question?"

_Oh my god. He's gonna purpose._ My drunk brain had thought, "Sure"

"Can I kiss you?"

I smiled, he was such a gentleman, "I thought you'd never ask."

He kissed me then and I felt something burn up inside me. We kissed and it got more and more passionate. I thought I'd opened my mouth and that'd been when he laid me on the couch.

I think I'd giggled and he'd started to kiss down my neck. I had no idea how he'd known that that was one of my hot spots but he'd found it and took advantage of it.

"I'm not sure we should be doing this." I said feeling desire pulse through me, "I mean I don't even know your name." Like names mattered when you were drunk and feeling like this.

"It's Ian." He whispered against my neck.

That raised a red flag. There was no way you could go to the gym and not hear the name of Ian O'Shea, Captain of the soccer team.

He pulled back, "What is it?"

"Ian? Ian O'Shea?" I prayed that he'd say no so I could have sex with him.

"Yea."

I felt so much at that moment; hurt, anger, betrayal, violated, lied too. I sat up and tried to recount Sunny's words on the phone.

"_Oh, By the way, stay away from any of the captains of the sports teams. There's this thing going around that all the captains have to nail a girl tonight. If they don't then they have to do something really embarrassing. Kyle wouldn't tell me what it was but if you do meet one of them, don't have sex with them and don't tell them I said anything or they'll kill Kyle."_

"What's wrong?" Ian asked.

I couldn't believe it. "Your Ian O'Shea….Captain of the soccer team." I paused just a moment to give him any time to deny it. "I heard from my best friend that all the captain boys on the sports teams were supposed to nail a girl tonight."

I saw him get a little red in the face, I felt a tear about to drop. "No, it's not like that." He said.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, "Oh of course not. It never is, is it?" I said my voice full of sarcasm.

I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. I'd almost given in to my sexual desires and committed social suicide. Being the girl nailed on a dare. It'd be spread around the school faster than a cheerleader's pregnancy scare.

He tried to grab my hand, like that's help, I ripped mine away, "I think you should leave."

He did. He got up and left. Than night after crying myself asleep I dreamt about the night I might have had if he wasn't the captain of a team. We'd explore each other on the couch and then move up to my bedroom where we'd devour each other in passion and hot sex.

Of course I felt even worse the next day when I realized that even worse than being the victim of a prank was being the one that turned the man away. Of course that's what my hangover said. I took some aspirin and drove to school where I tried to keep my head down.

I expected cat calls from jocks and 'lack of performance' jokes from some cheerleaders, but what I didn't expect was Ian bringing me flowers and begging me to go out with him, to give him another chance.

I didn't give in easily but I decided if he really wanted one more chance I'd give it to him. Just one more chance and he ran with it.

Mel's voice brought be back to the present, "So, Wanda, no bull shit this time. How are you?" She asked taking off a little bit of nail off my toenails using the toe nail clippers.

I took a breath, "Sometimes it's hard to tell." I exhaled, "Sometimes I feel like I could be happy but then the sadness overshadows it." She nodded, of course that'd been how it was for the last two months. I steeled myself to ask the question I really wanted to ask. "Have you see Ian?"

"Yep. He says he's doing fine and he says he thinks of you sometimes." She began to file my nails.

"Really? He said that?"

"Direct quote." she said opening the bottle of polish.

I sighed heavily, I felt all the irritation I had with him burst to the surface, "Damn Mel. Why hasn't he come home yet? I mean it's not like I sprayed 'Ian repellant'. I mean wouldn't he at least want to come over and talk to me? I mean it's not like we were married for four years. He's gotta miss me more than 'I think about you sometimes.' I mean I do. I miss him so much. And I love him so much."

"Maybe he will."

"Yea right. He didn't even come when he needed his clothes. I mean he sent Jared in to get his things. He wasn't even in the car. And when I went to give him the divorce papers which he clearly wanted," I didn't even care that I was throwing around the sarcasm, "he wouldn't even come and get them from me. He had Sunny pass them over from me to him."

I remembered that day well too. I remembered Sunny's face as she told me awkwardly that she had no idea who's side she was suppose to choose. She loved me, we'd been friends since our first semester of college. But she loved Ian, he was her bother in law and she'd feel like she was betraying family. Of course she finished it off with, "I'm for what's best. What's best for both of you, wither it's getting back together or getting a divorce."

"Maybe he's afraid that your beautiful gray eyes will make him cry like a baby." Mel said, "Maybe he's afraid you're still mad at him."

I rolled my eyes. How could I still be mad, it'd been two months? "I've seen him cry before. And I love him too much to still be mad at him."

"You know what you should do?" she said.

"What?"

"Text him that." She said blowing on the foot she'd just finished, "Text him 'I'm not mad anymore.' Or better yet 'Ian I love you.' I bet that'll get him over here in minutes."

I knew it would. He'd be over here in seconds. "No. I can't Mel." I said look at the foot she'd finished while she started the other one. "He's enjoying his new life to much. If he likes it and it makes him happy then what kind of a person would I be if I tried to convince him to leave it."

"What makes you think he likes his new life?"

I didn't respond right away. I remembered the times I'd seen him at the mall and the one time at the store. "I saw him. I've seen him a couple times. Sometimes I do a drive by of Kyle's to see if he's there."

I thought I heard her say something like 'Not you to.'

"Did you say something Mel?" I asked.

"Nope." she said a little too innocently.

I frowned, I'd ignore her. "Like I was saying I've seen him in his new life. He hangs out with Aaron and Brant at the mall and they check out girls. You should see his face. I watched as he was talking to Aaron one time. It was obviously about a girl and it looked like Ian was talking about her boobs." I cringed. "And while Brant was watching other girls Aaron seemed interested in Ian's opinion or whatever it was."

I remembered that day. I'd gone to the mall for a present for Mel. She'd been so great. And I'd been walking back to my car through the food court after getting a Jamba Juice when I'd seen them; Ian, Aaron and Brant. They were sitting at a table and Brant was pointing at a girl and making this face that clearly told me he was interested. Of course Brant had never really been the relationship type. I remember Ian telling me once Brant was a relationship guy in high school then he'd been cheated on one too many times. And what was worse was Ian was looking at the girl too. It killed me.

Then there was the groceries store time. He'd seen me then.

I'd gone to the store so I didn't starve. I was dangerously low on food, and most importantly my mint chocolate chip ice cream stash. I'd always kept a box in the fridge and I started to eat it when I missed him a lot.

I was walking along the produce, looking at apples and thinking of the time Ian accidently chocked on my mom's apple pie at a thanksgiving right after we'd got married when I'd bent over to place a cream pie on the table. I'd purposefully pulled my shirt pretty low, I use to do those kinds of things to keep him chasing me.

I looked up to see if the apples on the other cart were cheaper and found myself distracted by him; he was standing over by the banana's. I looked at him, right in those eyes that drove me crazy and for a moment, everything was solved.

This feeling of peace and love filled me and I wanted to run to him and tell him I was sorry. To tell him that he had to come home, I wasn't going to take no for an answer. And then I'd take him home and seduce him. After making love everything would be ok and we'd go back to life like it should be. The two of us together.

Of course then Brant and Aaron came over carrying all sorts of junk including energy drinks. I practically glued my jaw shut and tears started to form when I heard Brant say "Dude Ian I'm totally gonna get you laid tonight."

I felt a tears slip and flipped my hair in front of my face and practically ran out of the store abandoning my shopping efforts.

"God! I love him so much Mel. I almost told him so once. We saw each other at the store. I just stared into his gorgeous eyes for a minute and I was about to tell him I loved him and wanted him to come home when Aaron and Brant went to the cart with a bunch of junk food and I swear I heard Brant tell Ian "Dude Ian I'm totally gonna get you laid tonight." And I couldn't take it so I flipped my hair to hide the fact that I was crying and left. I didn't even buy the food. I just kinda abandoned the cart by the doors."

She patted my ankle It was comforting to know she was here for me, and that I wasn't just crazy ranting to myself. I was on a rant and she wasn't about to stop me, she knows I need this. She didn't want me going crazy.

"I miss him so much. God! You know it totally killed me to go to the court house and get the divorce papers. Then I sat outside Kyle's trying to gather the courage to give them to him. But he hasn't signed them and I still have to sign them before we can turn them in." I took a deep breath trying to steady myself as she blew on my left foot to dry it. "But I don't want to sign them Mel. I don't want to have either of us sign them I just want him to come home."

"Why don't you call and tell him that." she suggested.

"I can't." I said hitting the bed, "I can't because he's got to still be angry at me. Plus he likes checking out other girls." I heard my voice break, just the thought of him with other girls…. I couldn't take it.

"What other girls could be prettier than you?" she scoffed

"Yea. That's what Burns said too." I said lifting my feet up after she blew on the clear coat.

"Oh speaking of Burns. Ian drove by and he saw Burns was over." she laughed, "He thought you and Burns were together."

I laughed too, "What'd you say?" Like I could be with anyone but Ian, and especially not with Burns.

"I let him finish his story and then laughed at him and told him Burns was gay. He said that it made more sense now."

I laughed but it was maybe a little too forced. When I stopped laughing I turned to lay on my stomach being careful not to ruin her work on my toes. I remembered his visit like it was yesterday, he was the best gay friend I'd ever had…. Ok he was the only gay friend I'd really ever had.

She grabbed the three sided buffer and started on my left hand first.

"Burns just popped in on me. He was so sweet. He brought me a fake wooden rose and we sat on the couch and talked. I was telling him how much I loved Ian and how much I missed him when he grabbed my hand. I didn't care, ya know, because he's gay and my heart and love belongs to Ian."

She nodded and mhm'd at all the right places while I continued on.

"Of course when I got far enough into explaining how much this separation was hurting I got really upset and he had me sit next to him while he held my hand. And that's really all I needed you know? Someone to hold my hand and to physically be there."

She looked up at me with concern, "I've been here for you enough right? I mean I want you to know that I'm here."

I waved her concerns away with my free hand, "Mel you've been my rock. I think I needed a man though. Not that Burns is really the man I wanted but he did his job. He comforted me."

She looked at me lifting an eyebrow, "What kind of comfort?"

I felt color creep into my cheeks and was shocked that Mel would even think of that, even in passing "Mel! He held my hand and gave me hugs and kissed me on the cheek. Nothing more." I hit her lightly and she grabbed it and began buffering it. "Though I have to say I've been pretty…. Well horny these past couple of weeks. It's not like Ian and I did it as much as you and Jared do but we never went months without it. Or at least not months without some sort of oral."

"I don't really want to hear all the fun details." she said.

"I know." I said kicking my feet back and forth, "But you try going two months without having sex with Jared and see how you fair. It's kind of terrible. I mean Ian and I had a relationship that was more than just physical. But when it got physical it really got physical." She groaned "I mean I thought he was so amazing the night we met. I know I was drunk but oh god he was so amazing and I wanted him so bad. But then I found out who he was and I cried myself to sleep after I kicked him out. I mean I was so devastated that I didn't even want to go to classes the next day."

"No." She said in mock sarcasm.

"Yea. Imagine. College Wanda not wanting to go to classes. Anyway I just wanted to avoid him and try to forget him. But I couldn't. And I saw him when I got on campus. He was in jean shorts and a gray v-neck. He looked so hot. I was amazed because he had flower. I went to walk past him but he stopped me. He told me that he really did like me and he wasn't just trying to have sex with me like I'd thought."

She snorted. I knew she was remembering what Ian had been like before he met me. She was a year ahead of me in college and Ian was a year ahead of Mel. So she knew his rep better than I did at the time, and I knew plenty.

I kind of had a flashback; socially awkward me, hot young athletic Ian, a dozen roses and his earnest apology. I could almost hear him begging me with such an honest tone, laying his heart right there in front of me. A crowd had gathered and I remember there was a group of girls with school swag on who was just gazing at me in total jealousy. Half the girls in school wanted him to do that for him but he wanted me.

I'd looked at him with pity in my eyes when he got down on his knees right there in the freshly mowed and watered grass, begging for my forgiveness. I can remember exactly how it happened.

"Get up Ian." I kind of groaned.

"I won't. Not in less you forgive me."

"Fine." I snapped whispering, "I forgive you. Can you get up now? People are staring."

He'd gotten to his feet and handed me the flowers, "I don't know your favorite so I got you roses. I thought I couldn't go wrong with roses."

I took them and inhaled their scent, "Thanks." I said. People were still staring but most of them had gone on now that he wasn't embarrassing himself.

He smiled at me making his eyes sparkle, which released butterfly's into my stomach. "So I was thinking maybe you wanna go to dinner tonight?"

I shrugged, "I guess." I took a deep breath; if I was gonna give him a chance I had to set some boundaries. I pointed a finger at his chest, "You've gotta understand though. I won't be having sex with you until you can prove to me that you're not just after my body. Got it?"

He nodded, "Ok. Sounds fair."

I nodded too and started to walk to class. He walked with me and even offered to carry the flowers for me. I had to fold my arms so I wasn't tempted to hold his hand.

"It took pretty much the entire day for him to entirely convince me but there was one thing that he did that convinced me. And it was right after he gave me the flowers."

"What did he do?" she was curious.

I smiled at her remembering the situation, "I hid under the bleachers when he went to the track for his run. There were a couple of the girls I knew for sure that he'd been with. Jealousy ripped through me like crazy and I watched as one of them approached him and went to stroke his bare chest and…. He stopped her."

"Really?" She said smiling.

I nodded, "Yea. She approached him as confident as anything and when she put her hands on his chest he grabbed her hands and put them by her side and I heard part of their conversation."

"What was it?" I hadn't told her about this before so she was interested.

"He said, "No Jen. We're not doing that anymore." I was so surprised I felt my jaw drop. Then she said something like, "What is it Ian? Meet some other slut that you like better?" and he smiled at her and he said "I met someone who makes me want to be exclusive. I don't want to fool around with anyone but her." She got really upset. It was kinda funny. I sat there under the bleachers and laughed as she screamed at him and pushed him. And then she asked him who this girl was and he smiled at her and said "You'd like that wouldn't you. But I'm not going to tell you because she doesn't deserve to feel you're fiery because I love her." That shocked both me and Jen. He'd said he loved me."

"Turns out he did."

"Yea. But oh my god I waited for a month before I accept that he wasn't just looking for sex."

She groaned started a second coat.

"It was kinda funny because he was totally blue-balled for two weeks of that month. And I used that as a test. If he and I saw each other and he wasn't so blue-balled then I'd call it off." I paused remembering, "But god I wanted to jump him. I had to hold myself back a lot. Then after the month was over I had him spend the night at the house. You were with Jared and mom and dad were out for the weekend. I realized that I loved him. I mean it was only a month but he really cared and took care of me."

"Oh my god Mel. Ian and I's first night together was the best sex I've ever had. And I mean ever. I mean it's like Ian and I were…. welded together. I mean I kept expecting him to moan or scream some other girls name but it was almost like he'd forgotten about any other girl than me. He moaned my name and I screamed his."

I remembered that night so well. It was the first time since the night we met that I invited him in. We'd just gotten back from a classical concert that neither of us particularly liked but he'd won tickets to it on some radio station by accidently dialing the wrong number so might as well make a date out of it.

I could tell he knew what it meant when I asked him. I guess that may have been why he responded within seconds. I had been throwing out hints like more make out sessions and privet very suggestive note I'd slipped into his gym bag.

We walked into the house hand in hand and when I closed the door and locked it I turned and went immediately to kissing him. I pulled him close with his hand and started to kiss him soft and slow but sincere and passionate.

I could tell he was totally ready to do it, he kicked off his shoes at the door and pulled me so close that there was no room between our bodies. He let his hands roam up and down my waist.

I turned us and moved us to the couch where we'd done this before. I was in a dress so I couldn't quite move as well as I had that night since I was in pants then. I pushed him onto the couch and then knelt next to him still kissing him slow and deep.

No one would be home until tomorrow afternoon at least. So I was in no hurry. I didn't want to rush it like I had the night we met, I wanted it to be meaningful to be love making instead of just sex. I'd tried to forget about all the girls he'd been with and the few guys I'd been with. It was just us, Ian and Wanda.

As we continued to kiss I felt that burning feeling I'd felt the night we met, I wanted and needed more of him. I moved the skirt of my short dress up so I could straddle him.

He broke away for a moment, "Are you sure?" he asked almost reluctantly.

I nodded, "Ian. I've wanted to do this since the night we met you. But I had to know that I meant more to you than just another piece of ass."

He kissed me again, "You're so much more. You've got such a beautiful soul."

I grabbed his face and started to kiss him more fiercely; I grabbed his lower lip between my front teeth and pulled gently.

That got him going and he put his hands around my waist and went up the back of my dress to where the zipper was. He unzipped it and my body trembled with pleasure as his fingers touched my skin. He moved his lips away from my lips to go down my neck.

I arched my neck back in pleasure while my fingers moved to the buttons on his shirt. And I made quick work of them as he traced his fingers up and down my back and his lips made their way past my collar bone.

It wasn't long before I was dragging him up the stairs and into my parent's bedroom. In some part of my mind I savored how classic this was, having sex with my boyfriend in my parent's luxurious master bedroom.

Soon I was laying naked on the Egyptian cotton sheets while Ian laid on top of me just as equally naked. We gazed at each other's bodies and he said multiple times that I was beautiful. Then he showed me that he could be just as good with his hands as he was with his feet on the soccer field. I moaned and groaned his name as he made me feel wonderful.

Then it was my turn. I did my best to make him feel just as wonderful as he'd made me. Much to my surprise he didn't slip once. He moaned my name over and over. He never said any other girls names which surprised me, and aroused me. When he reached his limit we kissed and caressed until he climbed on top of me and we moved together.

It was strange; I could feel something deep inside me changing. I knew from that moment on that I was his. He had a hold of me and no matter what happened, he would always have me. And I found out after we were done for the night, that he felt the same.

"You know, I'm never going to be able to look at another woman ever again." Ian said moving his thumb against my shoulder.

I stroked my hand across he broad chest and moved in closer to him wrapping my left leg around his right one. "And why is that?"

He looked at me as I looked at him, "Because," he said, "Tonight made it official. I'm yours."

I snuggled my head more comfortably onto his shoulder, "Elaborate."

He cleared his throat, "Well, I knew from the night we met that I was hooked. I found myself hating the night it was, and hating that you knew. I'm sure it would have ended up like tonight." I smiled. "But since we waited and I got emotionally and mentally yours. Tonight was just the physical part. Now I'm all yours." He chuckled, "Even if you decide to dump me I'll always be there. And if you get married I'll be the hot love affair you have twice a year."

I looked up into his blue eyes, "In less I marry you. Then we'll be the best lovers in history. Sappy, lovesick writers will write stories about us." He nodded and then I settled my head on his chest and fell asleep to the sound of his heart.

"God, that man is so good with his-"

"Yea. I get it." she cut in. "Please don't finish that sentence sis."

I laughed, "You said I could always tell you anything."

She nodded, "Ok. Anything but your sex with Ian."

I felt myself frown. There was something in her tone, "Why do you make it seem like there will be more sex for us?"

She shrugged, "Because you guys are made for each other."

I sniffed and she looked up to see tears in my eyes, "If we're so made for each other why isn't he here?"

She stared at me, "Because you screamed at him to leave and never come back."

I put my head in my hands. I had done that, and I'd regretted it from the moment I bolted the front door. "I didn't mean it!" I sobbed. "All I want is for him to come home where he belongs."

She sighed and sat next to me on the bed. I buried my face into the comforter and I let my arms droop over the edge. I wasn't going to look at her, I didn't want her to feel bad for me, not that she already does. "Wanda." I didn't look up. "Wonderer." Still didn't look up. She took an audible deep breath. "Wonderer Stephanie Marie Stryder O'Shea!"

I looked up, my full name; she was committed "What?" I said in full pout mood.

"Why don't you stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your situation. Be the first one to say I'm sorry. Or at least tell him you want to talk. I'll even text it for you. You both can't keep going on like this."

I frowned and propped myself up on my elbows, "Both of us going on like what?"

She rolled her eyes, "You are so depressed you bought a nail polish that is the same color as his eyes. Ian spends most of his time at the bar you guys met at. I swear if this goes on for one more month Jared and I are going to be arranging your guy's funerals. Because you guys will probably be so suicidal if this continues."

I looked down at the blankets; I had wanted to tell someone but at the same time I was too ashamed, I guess now was as good a time as any. "Mel. Don't get mad but…. I'm gonna tell you something."

"What is it?" she asked with a worried expression.

"I was shaving the other day and I kept cutting myself with the razor…. And…. It felt good."

She stared at me. I could almost hear her brain click, This was her last straw. I knew how she felt about cutting; she'd done a fabulous paper on it in senior year that had been published in a journal of some sort. She'd been so passionate about it ever since she did all that research, she wouldn't let this go.

"Wanda." she said lying beside me, "That's not a good thing. You have to do something about this separation before that becomes a regular thing."

I laid my head on the bed, "Nothing's changed you know…. The fire of my love for Ian is still burning big and bright. And even if it takes forever; I'm going to be here; waiting for him."

She took a deep breath; that still didn't excuse it in her mind "Wanda. If you want to cry then please cry. But promise me something."

I looked at her, "What?" like I didn't know what she was gonna ask.

"You won't cut yourself on purpose" She said staring me down, "and you won't mess up your nails."

I smiled, "Ok. I promise Mel. To both."

She smiled, satisfied, and knelt on the ground to finish my nails, "Everything will work out in the end. I promise."

I nodded. Sure it would. Maybe he would come home one day and tell me he still loves me, maybe he's thinking about me now? Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow to a purple sky and pigs flying past my windows. This was probably the time that I had zero optimism. It had been two months and he hadn't crossed the threshold into our house. He wasn't coming home.

I cried the rest of the time she was here. When she did leave I decided to go straight to bed. My nails were completely dry so I took a shower and then changed into a pair of pajama pants and spritzed Ian's shirt with some more cologne.

I crawled into bed and stared at the picture on Ian's nightstand. It's a picture of him in his soccer years after we got married. I'd taken that picture on the side lines the day they'd won the championship. He was about to make the winning goal. I grabbed his pillow and wrapped my arms around it inhaling his sent. And before I drifted to sleep at least for a few hours I whispered hoping my words would reach him where ever he was. "I love you Ian"

**Wow right? Lots of memories and lots of stuff that brings tears to your eyes. I think I made this one longer because in 'The Host' you don't get to see much of Wanda being with Ian. You hear about her adjusting to Pet's body and you hear about her new life in the cave you even get the brief welding chapter (Which is my favorite chapter) but we never really get to see how she really feels, I think. But I did my best to make her the Wanda I imagined in this situation.**


	7. Chapter 5: They Have Problems

**Alright so now that we have the problem in perspective, gathering both sides one question remains….**

**WHAT IS MEL GOING TO DO ABOUT IT! I mean she has to do something. If not for them then at least do something for us! I'm not sure we, the fandom, can take it much longer!**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host' and the story was strongly influenced by the song 'If You See Him, If You See Her' by Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn**

**Chapter 5: They Have Problems**

**Mel's POV**

"I just don't know what to do. You and I both know their perfect for each other. God knows they love each other more than they love themselves but they both refuse to take the first step forward." Mel said falling backwards onto Jared and her queen sized bed.

Jared was turning down the covers, "But they're both considering signing the divorce papers?"

"Yep." I held up a finger, "Ian thinks that this is what Wanda wants and that this will make her happy." I held up a finger on my other hand "And Wanda thinks that Ian wants the divorce because she wasn't a good wife; or something like that." I threw my arms up in frustration. "Why do they have to make this so difficult?"

"They're both thinking of the other but they don't see the whole picture." Jared said walking over to stand in front of me. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, "Just remember honey, love always finds a way." He held me close.

I smiled at him while the fire burned where his body touched mine. He leaned down and began kissing me hard. My body was engulfed in flames, the flames burned hot as ever and I clutched at him for more. Ian and Wanda were momentarily driven from my mind.

When he pulled away I laughed, "That is true. We did."

He smiled, "Remember when you took that trip to Cali and I was alone for three days."

I remembered, "I came home and your clothes were cluttering up our room. There were dishes piled up a mile high and the front room was a pigsty."

He walked over to his side of the bed and laid down, "You walked in and threw a fit. Not to mention that vase that your mom gave us."

I chuckled, "I never liked it anyway." I slid into bed beside him and we faced each other lying on our side

Jared brushed his fingertips across my cheek, "You told me to get out. I thought you meant the room so I left the room."

"I fallowed you and told you to get out of the house." I frowned, "That was the biggest mistake that I'd ever made."

Jared gave me a kiss, "But it all worked out. I slept over at Ian and Wanda's then came home in the morning. You and I made up and worked together to clean the house." He chuckled, "And the make-up sex," He moaned, "Phenomenal."

I smiled. It had been quite and evening… and night.

He sighed, "I can tell you don't want to reminisce though. You wanna talk about your visits this week?"

I looked at him and I could feel that sadness leaking out of me as I thought about my visit with Wanda today. "I went over to Wanda's and I could tell she was upset. You know her, she pretended to be great. She was wearing sweats and one of Ian's shirts. When I walked in she was holding a duster and pretending to dust things. We went into the living room and I saw that there were pictures everywhere of her and Ian. She said she was making a scrapbook but I saw her push a tissue box behind the ottoman." Jared took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "It took me a minute to break threw but once I was threw her protective wall she broke down. I held her while she cried and she talked to me. She repeated like a million times that she still loved him. She said she didn't want a divorce and that she just wanted him to come back home. I told her to call and tell him that. She said she couldn't because Ian was so mad with her and he loved checking out other girls."

Jared hid a laugh behind a cough "She thought that?"

"I know right. But when I told her that that wasn't true she didn't believe me. I know that whatever I say is going to be brushed aside because she thinks that I'm saying it just because she's my sister."

Jared nodded, "That sucks."

"And you should have seen Ian last night. I swear he's a mess. He did the same thing as Wanda, "Oh I'm good." Which I knew was total bull shit. Once he got his four shots in him he opened up. I swear, he's gonna become an alcoholic if Wanda doesn't take him back. And if they get divorced he might just kill himself. Of course if this goes on much longer they'll probably both commit suicide."

"Want me to talk to him?" Jared asked.

I shrugged, "If you think it'd help. But if you talk to him at the bar don't get more than two drinks in you. I don't want you as drunk as he can get."

Jared kissed my nose, "I promise." We laid in silence for a while. "D'you think we should intervene?"

I looked at him, "You mean like make them sit in the same room till they work it out?"

Jared laughed, "That's one option. We could make recordings of what they say and play them for the other. We could send her flowers from Ian and send Ian a love note or something."

I was getting excited "I could go over to Wanda's and sneak her phone text Ian that she wants to talk and to come over now. You can be with him and have him buy her flowers "as a peace offering" then when he comes over we can give them a talk."

Jared smiled at me with his heart stopping smiled that he gave only to me, "Let's do it. We should do it soon."

"Tomorrow." I said sliding close.

"Tomorrow." He echoed closing any room between us and crushing his lips to mine.

I'd worry about Ian and Wanda tomorrow.

"I could really use a drink." I said about to get up, Wanda was so predictable.

"No, Mel this is my house and you are my guest I'll get it." She got up and walked into the kitchen.

I grabbed her phone; her home screen was one of their wedding pictures. It was the one where they'd been slow dancing at their reception, nose to nose foreheads pressed together and their hands together. This was further proof that what Jared and I were doing was right.

I typed in her password as she called from the kitchen "What do you want to drink Mel?"

"What do you have?" I called back typing in Ian's number into the contact slot.

"Milk, Juice, water, beer, sprite, Pepsi. I might have some tequila in the pantry if you want to go that drinking rout."

I hurried and typed the message:

**Ian, we need to talk. Could you come over to the house now?**

"What kind of juice do you have?" I called biding time to let Ian reply.

"Apple juice, cranberry juice, orange juice; I have this Pomegranate juice that is supposed to be really good for you."

"I'll just have some water." I said. "What kind of cups do you have?"

The phone vibrated in my hand and I looked at it.

**On my way.**

I smiled and put her phone down.

"Glass, Plastic or Paper." Wanda said poking her head into the room as I was bent over the phones.

I grabbed my phone to make up for the gesture, "Plastic is fine."

I looked at my phone and texted Jared:

**Operation 'Ian and Wanda Make-up' is a-go. :)**

I set my phone down; all I could do was wait.

.~.~.~.~

**Jared's POV**

Ian was just staring at his shoes as we walked. I had to save him at least four times. Cars and poles but mostly people. Mel should be texting him any time I dropped her off at least 20 minutes ago.

"Cheer up Ian. It's a glorious day. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining and it's your day off." I said in my best imitation of cheery.

"Yea. A great day." He said kicking a rock. "No offence man but I'm not really up for optimism."

The chorus of 'Stay with Me' By Sam Smith started playing and Ian took out his phone.

_Finally!_ I said breathing a sigh of relief.

I watched Ian's face as he saw it was Wanda and read the text. His eyes lit up when he saw it was her and as his eyes went from one side of the screen and back again the slightest hint of a smile started to grow on his face. He started typing and put his phone back in his pocket. "Hey man. I gotta go. Wanda wants to talk. I'll talk to ya later."

Now I was glad that I had had us take a walk this way, I grabbed his arm as he turned "Ian, there's a flower shop two shops over and my cars another two shops down. You should get her some flowers as a sigh of peace and I can drive you."

He nodded. If he didn't let me drive he'd have to run all the way back to Kyles to get his truck. He turned the other way and I went to my car while Ian darted into the flower shop.

_This is gonna work._ I thought a smile coming to my face.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out, it was Mel.

**Operation 'Ian and Wanda Make-up' is a-go. :)**

I smiled and responded.

**And going good. ;)**

**Wanda's POV**

I looked over at Mel and she smiled at me. She was smiling all the time today, what the hell was wrong with her?

"Ya know Wanda," Mel said putting her barley touched cup of water on the coffee table, "I think you and Ian should talk. Ya know have him come over and then you can confess your undying love for him and he can return them and then you two can have incredible make-up sex and move on with life."

I glared at her, "Mel. We've talked about this." I put my glass of water, half empty, on the coffee table, "I can't tell him that, he's too happy where he's at. I saw him the other day at the mall with Aaron and Brant checking out girls. He loves it."

Mel glared back at me, "Oh please. Who could ever love checking out women with those two idiots when he has a wife that loves him?"

I looked down at my feet, "I almost went up to him once. I…. I almost went over and slapped him. I got so jealous that I didn't know how to handle it. I mean we aren't even divorced yet and he's looking to move on. I wanted to run over and loudly accuse him of cheating on me. Men and getting caught ya know. I wanted to make him feel as bad as I did." Mel put her hand on my knee in a comforting manner "But I also wanted to go buy a really skimpy dress and walk past him several time maybe get a guy to walk with me to make him jealous. But I couldn't. I knew how it felt now to see someone with someone else. Even though he never actually gave out his number or approached any of the girls I knew what it was like to see him interested in other women. I couldn't put that feeling on him."

Mel wrapped me in a hug and stroked my hair, "It's ok. It'll all work out in the end you'll see. You will be happy when it does. You and Ian can find a solution that fits both of you."

.~.~.~.~

**Ian's POV**

I walked into the flower shop and looked around. God. What flower says "I'm sorry I was a dick. Please let me come home." I looked around but I couldn't see anything.

"Can I help you?"

I turned around to see a tall blonde with a light pink apron on. If I wasn't married and madly in love with my wife I might have thought she was pretty. Maybe I'd have to mention this place to Aaron. "Hey. I need some flowers."

She smiled sweetly, "Well I'm glad that you weren't here for anything else because that's all we have."

I smiled. "I'm looking for flowers that says 'I'm sorry. Please let me come home.' They're for my wife."

She nodded, "How long have you been together?"

"It'll be five years in May. But we've been separated for two months."

She patted my shoulder, "Well let's get you some flowers for her." She turned around in a slow circle, "What kind of a girl is your wife?"

"Amazing."

She chuckled, "I'm sure she is. What I meant was is she a practical girl or is she a flashy romantic?"

I shrugged, "She's pretty down to earth, though she can be pretty romantic." I smiled at a memory of when Wanda had made me dinner and accidently burnt it. She'd cried and I'd kissed away her tears, we'd ordered out for pizza and had amazing sex.

"Alright. Do you have a price range?" I shook my head and she smiled, "Alright, I've got just the thing for you."

We walked over to the counter and she went into the back and brought out a bouquet of some really colorful flowers.

"Their called Carnations. Of course they aren't usually all these colors, these are dyed but they'll do the job I think."

"Perfect." I said possibly remembering the word 'carnations' in any of our conversations about flowers. "And she loves all the colors of the rainbow so she'll love those."

I paid for them and ran out and towards Jared's car. As Jared drove I started to get nervous, What if she wanted to talk about the divorce. I don't know if I could even say the word out loud to her without bursting into tears. My legs wouldn't stop moving and I kept checking on the clock.

"Man chill out. It'll be fine." Jared said looking at me.

"I'm just so nervous." I said trying to breathe, "I wasn't even this nervous when we were dating. I wasn't even this nervous on our wedding day. I swear I've never been this nervous EVER!"

"Well chill out or you'll make me get in an accident and I'm pretty sure you don't want to talk to her in the hospital." He frowned at me and looked from me to the road multiple times.

Finally after what seemed like forever we turned onto the road to my house. I took a deep breath as Jared pulled into the driveway right beside Mel's car.

**Alright. Got them together. Now for the making up and the happily ever after. :D I'll do the 'Bonus' next. I guess it's not really a bonus it's more of the next chapter but I'd like to see how many people want to see them making up. Leave me a Review.**


	8. Chapter 6: Intervention

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host' and the story was strongly influenced by the song 'If You See Him, If You See Her' by Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn**

**Chapter 6: Intervention**

**Wanda**

I heard a vehicle pull up in the driveway from the kitchen. It was a truck or a bike because I wouldn't have been able to hear it otherwise.

My heart started to quicken; a truck would be Jared here to talk to Mel. But I only knew one person with a bike. _Ian_.

"Jared's here." Mel said happily.

"Yeah." I whispered.

I heard her open the door. "Hey Mel." I heard Jared's voice say.

"What's going on?"

I knew that voice. I dropped plastic cup and it clattered to the floor where it made a loud sound and I stopped breathing entirely.

_Ian. That was Ian's voice._

I tried to move my feet. The fact that they knew Ian was here seemed to make them want to run. I ran through the front room and stopped at the doorway.

There he was, standing in the foyer of our house. He was here. He was standing there in some blue jeans with a gray button up shirt and a jacket; his blue eyes just popping out at me.

Then his words clicked in my head. Why was he here? Why had Jared brought him here? And it couldn't be a coincidence that Mel and Jared were here at the same time.

I would have looked at her but my eyes couldn't tear themselves away from Ian. "Mel? What is doing on?"

Ian was staring at me too and he didn't look away when Mel answered. "This is an intervention. By two people who can see what idiots your being."

I clenched my jaw. _She was going to tell him? Tell him everything that I'd said in our talks?_

"Why don't you guys sit in the front room? I'll get some drinks." Jared said

I nodded and turned. I walked to the three cushion couch and sat as far from the other side as I could. Ian imitated me sitting on the other side from me.

Mel stopped Jared as he was about to walk past into the kitchen. "We don't need drinks." She looked at me and then Ian, "We need honesty."

I clenched my hands into fists and I could almost swear I saw Ian do the same.

Mel sat down on the ottoman next to the couch and stared at us. "Now let's get something straight." She said looking back and forth between us, "You both are miserable without each other."

I looked at him and found him looking at me. I saw, in his eyes, that what she said was true.

"You two need to talk." Jared said, "You two will just be miserable and nothing will get resolved."

I knew Jared was right. And I wanted to talk to him, I just wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to me.

He sighed and slid onto the middle cushion.

I smiled, that had to be a sign, he wanted to work things out. I slid to sit next to him. I could feel the heat coming from his body.

"Ok." Mel said smiling, "You, both, need to understand that those divorce papers are not getting signed. Neither of you even wanted them." She looked at Ian. "Ian." He nodded. "You need to be a man and understand that somewhere you messed up."

I thought that was kind of harsh. I couldn't think of any one thing he'd done.

"Wanda" I jumped. "You need to understand that more problems will come and you can't kick him out every time you get in a fight."

I nodded. After these two months I was never going to kick him out again.

Mel smiled, "Ok. Now, I've been meeting with both of you over the past two-ish months. I know what you've said. You know what you've said." She stared pointedly at Ian, "Wither or not you were able to remember it in the morning."

I raised an eyebrow. _What? What did she mean by that?_ "What?" I said turning to look at Ian.

He was glaring at Mel. But she shrugged, "She'll find out eventually. Just get it out in the open."

He sighed and turned to me. He stared kind of sadly into my eyes and offered his hand to me. I took it without question. He took a deep breath, "Every couple days I've been going to the bar we met at and getting totally wasted."

I felt my eyes widen. Ian and I drank sometimes; we even had some vodka and a special bottle of wine for out tenth anniversary in the pantry. But to get wasted every couple of days? That sounded more like the old Ian, going out and getting wasted with Brant, picking up chicks. I stared into his eyes, "Why?"

He exhaled slowly, "Cause I couldn't take being without you."

It shouldn't but my heart started to fly, "Really?" I heard my voice spike.

He smiled, "Really."

"Great." Mel said. "And Wanda, tell him about the shirt, cologne and nail polish."

I bit my lip. I saw Ian look at me then look down at my nails, still painted the color of his eyes.

I sighed, "I couldn't sleep." I started not looking into his eyes but looking at my hands, "So I bought some of your cologne and put it on a shirt you left and it helped. And then I found some nail polish…." I stopped.

"Nail polish?" Ian coxed.

I looked at Mel for help. She sighed, "The nail polish matches your eyes." She said, "Almost exactly."

I looked at him. He was smiling and lifted my hand to his eyes and turned towards Mel and Jared. Jared nodded and Mel laughed. I groaned.

Ian turned back to me and leaned in till he touched his forehead to mine. "I still love you." He whispered.

I felt my eyes go wide and produce tears. I just wanted him to come and talk with me; I don't think my heart expected this.

"I think our work is done." I heard Jared whispered pulling Mel to her feet.

"Yea. They can take it from here." She said walking to the door. "Call me later Wanda…. Or tomorrow. Whichever comes first."

I heard her shut the door and I just sat here forehead to forehead, nose to nose with my husband.

**Ian**

I stood there nervous as anything on the welcome doormat. I'd never had to knock on my own front door before. So Jared did it. Moments later the door opened and I held my breath.

It was Mel. I let out my breath. _What? Mel?_

"Hey Mel." Jared said winking at her.

I found this odd. Mel was here, Jared was with me. Mel had something up her sleeve; she had that mischievous look in her eye. "What's going on?"

Suddenly there was a clattering that sounded like it had come from the kitchen. It sounded like one of our plastic cups falling to the ground. Wanda had dropped enough of them for me to recognize that sound anywhere.

I heard feet against the carpet and saw her come around the corner before I had time to brace myself.

The look of her stopped my breath. She was standing there in a light blue strapless sundress with clouds along the skirt. It was the perfect color to match her golden curls and the perfect sky next to her wide gray eyes.

She stood there for a moment before speaking, "Mel? What is doing on?"

I sighed internally. Her voice was such a sweet sound to these ears; I'd been waiting to hear that sound for two months.

"This is an intervention." Mel stated, "By two people who can see what idiots your being."

I rolled my eyes._ Yea, we were the ones who were the idiots; they were the ones that had set this up in such a high school manner. And we were being idiots._ Though I saw the brilliance. She'd got us in one place, to talk.

"Why don't you guys sit in the front room? I'll get some drinks." Jared said.

I nodded and turned to see Wanda walking to the big couch and sitting at the far side. _She was still angry. I knew it._ I walked to the couch too and sat on the other side.

Mel stopped Jared as he was about to walk past. "We don't need drinks." She looked at both of us in turn, "We need honesty."

I clenched my hands into fists. How could Mel do this? Why would she force me to talk to her?

_Cause you wouldn't have done it otherwise._ A voice that sounded strangely like Kyle said in my head.

Mel sat down on the ottoman and starred at us. "Now let's get something straight." She said looking back and forth between us, "You both are miserable without each other."

I looked at her; it was only a second before she looked at me. I guess Mel would know better than anyone how Wanda was feeling. They are like physically linked.

"You two need to talk." Jared said, "You two will just be miserable and nothing will get resolved."

He was right. I want to talk to her, I'm just not so sure if she wants to talk to me.

I sighed; _someone has to take the first step._ So I slid to the middle cushion.

_Please except. _I chanted in my head until she smiled, that had to be a good sign. She slid to sit next to me, so close I could touch her. _Although we'd been closer on this couch._

"Ok." Mel said smiling, "You, both, need to understand that those divorce papers are not getting signed. Neither of you even wanted them." I was glad to hear that.

She looked directly at me, "Ian." _I was first, of course I was first._ I nodded. "You need to be a man and understand that somewhere you messed up."

_Of course._ I accepted this a long time ago; a lot of what happens is the guy's fault. It's just easier and saves time that way, of course usually later both parties agree that it was an accumulation of things both people had done

"Wanda" I felt her jumped. "You need to understand that more problems will come and you can't kick him out every time you get in a fight."

She nodded. I hoped this wouldn't happen again, and if it did I defiantly wouldn't let it go on so long.

Mel smiled, "ok. Now, I've been meeting with both of you over the past two-ish months. I know what you've said. You know what you've said."

She stared pointedly at me, _I was first again_, "Wither or not you were able to remember it in the morning."

I froze, _Really? REALLY? Why would she bring that up? Why?_

"What?" Wanda said turning to look at me.

I glared at Mel but she just shrugged, "She'll find out eventually. Just get it out in the open."

I sighed, _she would. If we made up today she'd taste it on my breath._ I began to hate that small drink I'd had earlier before the walk with Jared.

I turned to her. I wish I wouldn't ever have to tell her, I hated my past with Brant and most of the nights were blurred with alcohol use. What would she think? Would she think I'd gone back to my wild ways?

I offered her my hand, _I'm still me._ I tried to communicate. She took it. _Good sign_. I took a deep breath, "Every couple days I've been going to the bar we met at and getting totally wasted."

Her eyes widened and she stared into my eyes, like she was trying to see if I was drunk right now. "Why?"

I exhaled slowly, telling her why would be easy. At least she hadn't jumped to me being an alcoholic like Mel and Kyle. "Cause I couldn't take being without you."

"Really?" I heard my voice squeaked.

I smiled, she was so cute. "Really."

"Great." Mel said interrupting the moment. "And Wanda, tell him about the shirt, cologne and nail polish."

She bit her lip. I looked at her and then looked at her nails. They were a beautiful shade of blue, and her toes were painted the same color.

She sighed. "I couldn't sleep." _I knew that, I'd seen it._ "So I bought some of your cologne and put it on a shirt you left and it helped." She said avoiding my eyes, "And then I found some nail polish…." She stopped.

"Nail polish?" _What was so special about it?_

She looked at Mel and she sighed, "The nail polish matches your eyes. Almost exactly."

She looked at me then. I was moved by her attachment, the cologne, my shirt and now my eyes.

I smiling and lifted her hand to my eyes and turned towards Mel and Jared. _This would lighten the mood._ Jared nodded and Mel laughed, Wanda groaned.

I turned back to her. I wanted to lean in to kiss her but I guessed it was probably too soon. So I leaned in till our foreheads met

"I still love you." I whispered. She would never know how true that statement was.

Her eyes went wide and she started to tear up.

"I think our work is done." Jared whispered after a bit. He pulled Mel to her feet.

"Yea. They can take it from here." She said while she walked to the door. "Call me later Wanda…. Or tomorrow. Whichever comes first."

She shut the door; we were alone for the first time in two months. Me and my wife.

**YES! The plan worked.**


	9. M Chapter 7: Make Up

**Enjoy the Fluffy Fluff.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host'**

Making Up

Wanda and Ian sat there for a moment.

He lifted up the flowers off the floor. "I got these for you." He said handing them to her.

She smiled, "Their beautiful. You remembered my favorite flower."

He sighed, "Of course."

She got up and took them into the kitchen, "I'll go and put them in some water."

She grabbed the most beautiful vase she could find. Ian fallowed her and stood by the fridge while she put them into the vase. She was very aware that he was looking at her.

"So how've you been?" Ian asked. He had noticed thingsthe comment about the shirt, cologne and nail polish; that told him that she'd missed him but he was still unsure whether she was happy otherwise.

"Fine." She said automatically as she placed the flowers on the center of the dining room table and turned. "How about you?" She walked over and closed the cupboard that held the china.

Ian looked at her. She was standing there in her light blue strapless sundress with clouds along the skirt. It was the perfect color to match her golden curls and the perfect sky next to her wide gray eyes. "I missed you."

Wanda got a small smile on her lips, "Really?"

Ian nodded, "Really." He took some steps forward until he was standing right in front of her. Ian took a deep breath, "How about you?"

Wanda's eyes teared up, "I want you home."

He smiled, "I am home."

She shook her head, "No Ian." She closed any distance, "I want you to come home after work. I want you to tickle me while I try to cook breakfast. I want you to cuddle with me on the couch while we watch a movie together." She paused to take a breath, "And I want you to sleep with me every night and make love to me like we use to."

His heart melted. She was reading his mind. He wanted all those things too.

Ian nodded, "I want that too."

Wanda smiled her first real smile in two months and grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him against her as she stood on her toes to press her lips to his. She closed her eyes, no matter how hard either of them tried when they kissed; they couldn't keep their eyes open. After a second he got over the shock he moved his hands to her side and wrapped his arms around her back.

He opened his mouth at the same time she did and their tongues danced together as Ian lifted her up off the ground and set her on the empty counter top. She moved her hands from his jacket around his neck and tangled her fingers into his hair. They kept kissing for a minute before their lips pulled apart.

"What is that on your breath?" she asked breathing hard.

"Probably the shot of tequila I had this morning." He whispered breathing just as hard.

She stared a bit shocked. "You took a shot this morning?"

He nodded, _No need to drink anymore. I could get drunk on her for the rest of my life._

He nodded, "I've pretty much been getting drunk beyond believe twice a week since you kicked me out." He pressed his lips to hers for a moment, "But now that I'm home I can get drunk beyond believe on you, and us."

She smiled at him and put her lips back to his. He moved his hands up her side to cup her face.

She was just as amazing as the last time he'd kissed her. And what made him really happy was that she was still his. They were still married.

She pulled apart again after a few minutes, "We have to talk." She said panting a bit.

Ian nodded and kissed her neck just below her ear, "The talk." And he made his way slowly down her neck savoring every kiss.

An involuntary shiver roll down Wanda's spine. But they did need to talk. She had questions.

She closed her eyes at his touch, "What about girls?"

"What girls?" he asked looking at her confused.

Wanda opened her eyes at his confused tone, "The girls you were checking out. You liked to check them out with Brant and Aaron. I saw you."

Ian sighed, "Wanda, love, I never saw those girls. I saw you. I saw the way some walked and how some talked and even how they carried their purse and they were all the things you'd do. I never saw wither they were pretty or had a third eye and webbed hands." He bushed his fingertips across her cheek, "Ask Aaron, it pissed Brant off but Aaron thought it was honorable how endlessly devoted to you I was."

She frowned, "Then why didn't you tell me?" _It could have saved so much time._

"Because," Ian looked down ashamed, "I saw how happy you looked all the time and I didn't want to make you upset cause I thought you were still mad at me."

Wanda lifted his face with her hands so they were staring into each other's eyes, "Ian. I wasn't happy." She paused to watch her words sink it, "The only time I was happy was the brief moments helping people at the shop that I forgot my pain. But that was never for very long."

"What about the new clothes?" he asked, "You changed your wardrobe drastically when I left."

She giggled, "I changed my clothes because of you." He tilted his head slightly confused again. "I was upset after you left so Mel took me shopping to drown my sorrows. She saw this big clearance sale on summer dressed and she dressed me up. A guy in the shop said I was gorgeous and Mel snapped that I was married and he walked away." he smirked, _I knew there was a reason I liked Mel._ "Then she said that maybe it'd be a good idea to buy some so that if I ran into you or if you came over you'd see how pretty I was and wanna come home."

He smiled still rubbing his thumb against her soft cheeks, "You look like an angel."

She smiled sadly at him, "I'm so sorry Ian!"

"I'm sorry too."

She brought her lips back up to his with a gentle kiss that soon turned back into the passionate make out session. When Wanda pulled back a third time Ian's lips went straight to kissing her cheeks and then down the side of her neck again.

"I missed you" she said rolling her head back in pleasure as a second involuntary shiver went down her spine.

he smiled against the base of her neck, "I missed you more."

She ran her hands through his black hair and down his neck across his shoulders, remembering how he felt.

He brought his lips back to hers and let his tongue explore her mouth while he slipped his hands under her thighs and lifted her off the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms securely around his neck pulling her closer to him.

Ian turned and walked through the front room and pushed her against the front door.

He moved one of his hands from her thigh to lock the door. And when he was done he replaced his hand and turned to walk up the stairs. Even though he hadn't been in the house for two months he didn't miss a step and stumble or have to open his eyes to look where he was going.

When they got to their bedroom he laid her on the bed and kissed down the right side of her neck.

They'd been apart too long. The way he kissed her only made her want him more than she'd ever wanted him before.

He had remembered what it was like to love her but the feeling that came over him was totally different than what he'd remembered.

Ian and Wanda moaned at the same time and it just made the feeling between them intensify. Wanda had Ian roll over onto his back and it was her time to kiss his neck. A sound like a growl came out of his throat as she kissed down his neck and down to his collar bone.

He rolled her over onto her back again and instead of kissing her he took off his jacket and tossed it across the room. His jacket hit the wall and landed on his night stand knocking things over. "Carful Ian." Wanda said.

Reluctantly Ian got off Wanda and placed the lamp, miraculously undamaged, back onto the stand. Wanda got off the bed and stared at him as he turned to look at her. He walked over to her and they took each other's hands.

Ian leaned down to press his lips to hers again and she leaned into it. She walked him over until he was sitting on the bed and started to unbutton his shirt. He slid his hands to rest at her hips and as she got to halfway up his shirt he pulled her as close as she'd get. When the shirt was unbuttoned she slipped it off his shoulders and he lifted her dress up over her head.

_He'd kept in shape while they'd were apart._ Wanda noted_. If it was possible he looked even more ripped than he did before. I couldn't help but run my hands down his chest trying to memorize each muscle and each curve of his chest. I missed the feeling of security but as I looked over his muscles and his huge arms I couldn't feel safer._

_She was a bit thinner than before we split. I guessed that with the lack of sleep and she'd had a lack of apatite as well._ Ian noted. _Under the dress she had some suggestive lingerie. They were black; the bra had lace and coincidently the clasp was in the front. The panties were lacy too but instead of regular ones they had ties at each side. She hadn't worn lingerie like this since our first six months of marriage. She looked so amazing that I couldn't believe that she was __still__ mine._

"I missed you." Ian whispered leaning forward placing his forehead against hers and their noses touched.

"And I missed you." She said.

They kissed for a moment before Ian's hands moved to the bra clasp.

Wanda ran her hands along his shoulders and down to his chest. Ian was surprised when he felt her hands continue until they reached his pants and undid his belt and the clasp. She felt the bra fall off her shoulders and when Ian stood she heard the pants fall to the ground. Wanda moved to straddle Ian on the bed, sitting on his lap. Ian started kissing down her neck and moving down past her collar bone. Both of them fumbled with a tie.

When they were both naked she moved to lay on the bed and he laid on top of her. He kissed down her neck once more but didn't stop. He kissed around each of her perky breasts and then when he continued to move down her abdomen he moved his fingers and rubbed each of her nipples in between thumb and forefingers.

She arched her back in pleasure as he moved his fingertips down her body and began to rub then in circles around her center.

"Ian. Ian." She moaned in pleasure and he smiled to himself.

Ian was so glad that he hadn't lost his touch when it came to giving her pleasure.

After a few moments she reached her climax and called out his name once more with a whine that proved he'd hit the spot.

When she'd reached her peak he began to kiss back up her body, giving her nipples a bit of a suck when he got there. When he reached her mouth he felt her attack him.

She rolled him onto his back and mimicked him by kissing down his muscular chest, flicking his nipples with her tongue and moving her hands down to stroke his hard long member.

She started slow and gentle and then got more and more vigorous. She smiled as she saw him reacting to her touch. He clutched at the sheets and moaned. "Wanda."

Wanda smiled, _I can still do it right, can still give him pleasure._ It gave her satisfaction to know her abilities still had this effect on him.

When he'd finally reached his peak and let go she stood and went to get a towel. As she whipped him off he stared at her with an animal look in his eyes.

He grabbed the towel and tossed it to the floor laying her on the bed again.

He kissed her long and hard tugging on her lower lip with his teeth. She lifted herself up so her lips were at his ear. "Ian." She moaned "Make love to me."

And he did. He moved so that he was fully sheathed in her and they began to move together. She grabbed the sheets with on hand while bringing his lips down to meet hers with the other hand.

She dug her brilliant blue nails into his muscular shoulders holding onto him while he went in and out.

He could feel it building inside him, trying to make it last just a little longer. While she was enjoying the sensation of being with him again.

They both moaned each other's name as he released into her and collapsed next to her panting hard.

"We should do this more often." Wanda giggled rolling to straddle him.

He grabbed a lock of her golden hair and tugged on it lightly so she bent and their lips met again. "I'll do it every day if that's what it takes to make you happy."

She kissed him long and slow savoring the taste of him the feel of him beneath her and the pure pleasure that came from just having him here in their bed. "I look forward to it."

And as they started to kiss longer and harder they continued to roll around in bed giving each other as much pleasure as they could.

Wanda woke up and felt my hand resting on something rock solid. She looked over and saw Ian laying sprawled out in all directions like he always was before. So that hadn't changed. She kissed his jaw and tried to slip out of his arms to go and make him a big 'welcome home, you're never leaving again' breakfast.

But his arms wrapped around her keeping her there, "I'm not done spooning yet." He mumbled not opening his eyes but with a small smile on his face.

Wanda smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the lips, "Don't you want breakfast. I'll cook you whatever you want."

He opened his eyes and gazed at her face, "You're my breakfast. I could go the rest of my life without food if I get to stay with you like this."

She looked at him with mock annoyance, "Ian. I'm naked."

He lifted his eyebrows, "Really? Huh. I guess I'll just have to live with that."

She rolled to straddle him. Her hair fell to the right side and landed on the bed beside Ian's head, "We'll have to leave here sometime. When do you have work?"

Ian sat up and started to kiss from the base of her neck up, "I'm. Really. Sick. I. Might. Have. To. Take. Weeks. Off." He said with a kiss after every word.

She laughed and felt the pleasure flow threw her body, "We're gonna starve to death." She said putting her fingers in his black hair. "And Mel will probably break a window to get in."

"Great." He said kissing along her jaw and up the other side, "She. Can. Take. Notes."

Wanda tugged his hair back so he looked at her, "Ian!"

He chuckled moving his left hand to cup her cheek. "I'm sorry love." He kissed her, "I know she knew how I felt and how you felt but I didn't expect her to set us up like that."

Wanda slip her hands to his shoulders, "Maybe it was Jared's idea." She smiled, "I'm gonna text them." She rolled off him and reached for her dress to get her phone.

Ian pinned her to the bed and she rolled over. He kissed her, "Thanks them later. I haven't had enough of you." He kissed her again. "I have to make up for two months worth of lost time."

She smiled and kissed him, "I love you Ian."

He stroked her face with his fingertips, "And I love you. More than life it's self."

And they were lost to passion. Left to love each other forever as the universe intended.

**:') There back together. :') Let's all cry happy tears.**

**Although was there really any doubt that they would? I mean they're perfect for each other. And they made such pretty babies…. Well in my mind they were pretty as babies.**


	10. Chapter 8: Love Lasts

**Alright get your box of tissues at the ready because this one is probably worse than all the other chapters. I know I have mine out and ready.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me they belong to Stephanie Meyer's author of the wonderful book 'The Host' and the story was strongly influenced by the song 'If You See Him, If You See Her' by Reba and Brooks &amp; Dunn**

**Chapter 8: Love Lasts**

A tear rolled down my cheek looking at the two coffins in front of me. I can't believe that my parents are dead. I swear I'll never forgive the soul of that drunken truck driver. At least he doesn't get to live while my parents are dead.

Danny squeezed my hand. It had been a really tuff past four days for us. I thanked god that I had a twin brother, we'd been close our entire lives and now we were the only family that each other had.

My fiancé, Kevin, on my other side squeezed my other hand, he'd been so great to help me though this. I smiled to myself remembering how mom had gotten so happy when I'd told them. Dad had sat there for a moment before saying that he was happy too. Kevin hadn't asked my father's permission but I'd told him that he didn't have to. Now I kind of wished I'd had him ask.

I didn't close my eyes for the prayer. I listened to the sad but uplifting song Danny had chosen.

I remembered when I'd seen him and dad singing it in the garage. They'd been working on Danny's car; Dad had bought it for him for our 15th birthday and said that they'd work on fixing it up. Mom had bought me some clothes and a new computer. Of course I wanted to have a car too but little did I know mom and dad were saving to get me one that worked for my 16th birthday.

Having a twin is weird like that; parents always try to separate things so you each have your special moments.

I'd peaked into the garage, so jealous of the time Danny was spending with dad. He made time for me but I knew from movies that rebuilding a car was the best bonding experience that a father and son could have.

They each had a took in their hands and were singing into it like a microphone. I stepped inside and watched them for a moment before mom came up behind me and watched them too. When the song was over they laughed.

"Why weren't we invited to the party?" My mom said chuckling.

My dad looked up at us and smiled, "Oh. Sorry love. We were just caught up in the song."

My mom laughed and moved past me into the garage and turned it to a different song. It was a slow song and she curtsied to Danny, "May I have this dance?"

He bowed like a gentleman and started to dance with her. Dad fallowed her example and offered his hand to me. I just stared at him for a moment.

"What do you say sweetheart?" he asked smiling at me his eyes sparkling, "Will you dance with your daddy?"

I like my mom had never been able to refuse his smiled and eyes, except when I was mad, and right. I smiled back and curtseyed like mom and took his hand.

He helped me to jump the few steps to the floor and put his arm around me.

We all both danced to the song, I laid my head on my dad's chest. He was my rock. He was always there for me, even when he was obviously a bit more attached to Danny he always made me feel like the luckiest most special girl in the world.

I brought myself back to the graveside service. It was Uncle Jamie's turn to make a speech that he'd insisted be given here. We'd made time for him at the funeral but he insisted that he wanted to do it at the graveside service. And since he was the only remaining sibling of the Stryder's, and a very special person to my mother, we couldn't deny him this one thing.

"I watched Wanda and Ian. They loved each other so much. And they loved their two kids. They were their world. I remember my Mel telling me a story about a tuff spot they had. I was in basic at that time so I wasn't there to see it and Wanda never wanted to burden me with it. I remember she said 'Jamie, you'll never believe this but Wanda and Ian actually separated for two months.' She told me about how she'd meet Ian in an old bar and as he drank he became more honest about how he really felt. And how she would go meet Wanda in their home and the longer she sat there with her the more she'd open up. She told me how they both loved each other more than life it's self and after a nudge from Mel and Jared they got back together. And were stronger than ever."

He took a deep breath and continued, "I guess we all wonder the universe looking for a love like Wanda and Ian's. And most of us will never even find it." He paused to clear his throat of the emotion creeping out, "But what I thank god for is that they went together. Because I would have hated to think that they could ever be separated again. But they aren't. They went together. Just like they did everything."

"They always called themselves partners. I didn't really get why. But I think I know now. When you are husband and wife you are separate. Two different titles, two different people. But I think I speak for everyone here when I say that two was not the number that they were. They were one. They were so good together that you'd think they read each other's minds. But when they did things they did them as partners, as one. And when it was time they died together. That shows their true commitment to being one. And that, my friends is why they called themselves partners."

I watched as he took a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes and to clear his throat. "I was always younger than my siblings. I was usually excluded from things when it came to my sisters. But I was always special to them. I remember once when Wanda and Ian were going to the movies Ian offered to take me too. Of course I had no interest in seeing a sappy romance movie to Ian paid for me to go to one of the Saw movies." He chuckled, "Then when I had nightmare that night Wanda and Ian stayed up with me. Of course I know that they'd rather be doing other things by themselves." He said chuckling again, "I came to realize later that they were almost as bad a Mel and Jared."

Everyone laughed with him at that. I laughed too, Uncle Jared and Aunt Mel had always been very…. Intimate. It was clear by the 12 children that they had and the many pregnancy scared even after we expected Aunt Mel to not have any more children.

"But even while they were dating, before they even mentioned marriage to anyone they were doing things together. I'm just glad that I got to be part of the life they made together." He looked over and Danny and I, "I'm glad I get to see the product of their love grow and spread the love they gave them around to whoever they meet. Because even though their physically gone, they'll never really be gone. I see my sister in the blonde curls and gray eyes of my niece Lily."

I grabbed a lock of my hair and twirled it in my fingers, he was right. I had had the fortunate luck to inherit my mother's beauty and generous spirit.

"I see Ian in the broad stature and the blazing blue eyes of my nephew Danny."

I looked at my brother who looked back at me. He was right about that too. Danny had inherited my father's looks and most importantly his brilliant sapphire blue eyes.

"But most importantly I feel the love that they inspired in me. They inspired me to find my partner and when I did they showed me how she should be treated." He looked over at his wife. "So I know that as I pass the love they inspired in me onto my children and them onto their children. Ian and Wanda O'Shea will never truly die."

He took a deep breath and walked back over to sit behind Danny and I in the chairs.

I waited in the chairs long after everyone had stopped visiting and driven to the luncheon. I'd told everyone to go on ahead of me and I'd be there after a while, there was one person who hadn't listened to me.

Danny continued to hold my hand while we stared at our parents in their coffins.

"What do we do now?" I asked him.

"I guess we do what Uncle Jamie said." He said, his voice so like our father's, "We spread the love they taught us to everyone we meet. Then," he said letting go of my hand and wrapping his arm around my shoulder, "They'll never truly be gone."

I nodded, I wasn't sure how to do that though. I loved my brother. I loved my fiancé. I loved my nieces and nephews, cousins, uncles and aunts, friends and acquaintances. Mom had taught me that no matter how much it hurt, it was usually worth it to love everyone with all your heart.

I nodded again. "And If I can't do that I'll just look into your eyes and the eyes of most of your kids and be reminded of dad."

He smiled, "And I'll come over and watch you brush your hair and be reminded of mom."

I hugged him and we walked to his car together.

The years fallowing Danny and I always brought our families to our parents grave and told the children the story of the love of their grandparents. We did this every year and kept pictures of them up in our houses to keep their spirits alive.

And sometimes, I think I can feel them with me. Because like Uncle Jamie said at their service; I have the light of their love inside me.

**Well that's the end. Or the beginning of another story. (That I don't think I'll write.) **

**And at least it ended on a happy note. (I guess….)**

**Thanks so much for all of the reviews and favorites. Thank you so much. I loved writing this. Even though it broke my heart to break them up for two months I give this to you as a humble apology and I hope that this satisfies some of your hunger for O'Wanda fluff.**

**Feel free to check out some of my other 'The Host' fanfiction's, there's plenty. And for more kir-girl24 writing check out my other fanfiction's.**


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